[conklinca]

A man who tried to rape and then tried to catch me after I escaped through a window after locking myself in a room--I can only imagine, to make sure I could never get help--has moved back to my hometown, where I live, too. It's a small town, so it's hard to avoid him--I frequently see him walking and twice entered a room in a public building only to find out he's there. Although I'm dealing, every time I see him, I get upset. How can be functional while facing him and others like him all the time?

[jennie]

Rape, Incest, Abuse National Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE
call that number for support

<font color=purple> Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth. Jean-Paul Sartre </font color=purple>

[Serenity]

DId you ever repor tthis conk? That must be so hard

[conklinca]

Yes, reported. Because I escaped, he got a slap on the wrist--DISORDERLY CONDUCT. Can you believe it? And the judge acted like it was all me, because I froze up instead of fighting until I was able to get out. It was terrible. They almost dropped the case entirely.

[Serenity]

GRRRRRRRRRRRR sometimes I have no faith in "Justice" Im sorry to hear that, it isn't right at all. YOU did nothign wronmg...be strong, be proud and hold your head high...ESPECIALLY anywhere near him....jerk

[soscared]

Try and be strong,eventhough he only got a slap on the wrist.
If he seem to be following you get a restraining order if that is at all possible.
It must be so scarry for you, let people know where you areand when you will be back,Just some saftey precautions??
I get so mad when people like these get away with such tramitizing things.
You are better than him, and it is not your fault.
Everybody reacts differently to these types of situations, and freezing is a very common one, so don't let that get you down.
Just be as safe as you can and let other people know what kind of person he is, if you can.
Take Care and keep posting, we are all here to help each other.

[Sam]

Hello conklinca and welcome to the forum. (((((HUGS))))),

That is definately something to worry about and I am hoping you are safe. Jerks like that should be dealt with harshly - there's just no excusing what he did then, or now.

I'm kind of like Serenity in that justice for one isn't always justice, or the justice one should receice. And I liked what soscared had to say about a restraining order. Can you get that? And why did this jerk come to yoir town anyway - just to try and frighten you or does he have family there?

Please do keep us updated on how you're doing ok?

Best of luck to you sweetie,

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

[conklinca]

I do not feel I am being actively followed; he lived in this town before the incident. So I do not want to make him feel good about himself by making him think I fear him by getting a restraining order unless I need to, and if I were to accidentally run across him when he was drinking, I know a restraining order would be of no influence on his actions. That is my biggest fear--seeing him drunk (I believe he is an alcoholic). It is just hard having him here. The most he has done so far is try to contact my husband--he told a mutual aquaintance that he didn't dislike my husband, but only me, and that my husband should contact him. (We all used to be friends.) My husband was in obvious shock and disbelief of his attitude, as am I, and of course did not look him up.

[Sam]

Perhaps then - it is time for your husband to pay him a visit, and explain it to him clearly.

I once went thru something like that. My wife had a friend that was single and she had started dating this guy that was controlling and abusive.

He made the mistake of threatening my wife because she had told her friend to get out of the relationship. Once told, I simply had a little talk with that very bad and big man. Left with a limp and a bruised wrist. I am sure he understood very clearly as to what would happen to him should he ever harm my wife. To this day, when he see's me pull up where he's at - he is suddenly ... GONE!

I'm still keeping you in my thoughts and hope you stay safe! Without doubt - you're a nice and caring person and you don't deserve whats happening to you at present.

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

[FearsomeAnna]

I was abused by a guy who wanted to go out with me - I told him no, and he didn't understand "no". The day he threw me into the doors of a building was the last straw - I filed a police report, got a restraining order, and he went to jail. The hard part of it was keeping all of my guy friends from going and paying him a "social call" with baseball bats. So, Sam, I have to say that I like your plan of action! Sometimes the justice system ain't justice.

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[Sam]

Hello Anna and welcome!

I'm a firm believer in a person rights and in having freedom to live their lives. I am not however, much on justice. By that I mean, how does justice benefit the victim?

For example, take a person that has been abused by another, or even, one that has been injured due to a drunk driver - let's say the drunk driver gets 20 years. How does that help the victim, if that person will be forever disabled and cannot be as before?

My sense of justice differs greatly from our governments. For example, a rapist, a sex offender, a child molester (I'm thinking males here) - I wouldn't send them to prision. I would simply remove the threat.

Castration would immediately prevent the abuser from ever hurting another again. But again, so would the gallows.

Today, we have way too many people that say, we have to be humane and so any punishment we hand out must not hurt the guilty person. I say that is BULL. I say, what about the person that person hurt, or killed? What about THEIR RIGHTS?

So I say, if a person is careless about hurting another person, and or killing another person and taking their rights and freedoms away, we should not allow that guilty person to have any such rights. That they throwed any such concern for their rights and freedoms away just as soon as they took them away from their victim.

I say, take all those such terrible horrible people - those killers, rapists and child molesters, and drop them from the gallows and we will see a big drop in these crimes. Let them feel pain.

I hear people say that capital punishment has never been a determent from crime and they would be right. We don't incoroporate capital punishment enough for it to be effective. But if, every county seat would build a gallows and upon being found guilty, that guilty person be taken to that gallows, not 10 years down the road, but no later than 7 days, and if everyone turned out to watch - if it was broadcast by televisons and radios - you bet it would make these people change their ways in a hurry.

But that's my opinion and it is very doubtful we will ever see it used.

I'm sorry you were treated so - I really am.

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."