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#1
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I ordered a movie this week and watched it last night.
It was supposed to soothe me and help me with some issues. It did, some, but it also triggered me very badly. It reminded me of some half-remembered things during my childhood, either being exposed to adult activity or actually being sa'd---not sure. Still it really upset me. Some more anxiety and shame about s*x*ality surfaced again. I did not sleep all night. I feel soooo sad about this. I really want to heal s***ally, but it's taking forever. i hate feeling like I have to avoid s***ality all the time to avoid triggers! I feel like I have to be some kind of nun or something. Carol
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Feral_Cat_Lover, Open Eyes, optimize990h, Silent_Tears_17
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#2
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I'm sorry that you were triggered. Healing is a long process.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() BrokenNBeautiful, Open Eyes
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#3
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![]() As Sannah said, healing is a long journey and as hard as it is, it won't always have to be like that. Give it time and hang in there. It can get better. |
![]() BrokenNBeautiful
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#4
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Im really sorry. I hope you find a path to healing.
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Silent |
![]() BrokenNBeautiful
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#5
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Carol, reading your sig quote, I just have to say tell that voice to shut the he** up!
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Lauru-------------That's me, Bipolar and Watching TV ![]() ![]() I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ---Robert Frost |
![]() BrokenNBeautiful, Silent_Tears_17
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#6
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It was a movie based on Herman hesse's novel, Siddhartha.
I thought it would uplift me spiritually and it might have if there had not been any love scenes. I deleted those and now I have a little choppy version of it, but no triggers. I have the book, too. I love Siddhartha. But I also have a big crush on him. I feel like I am beneath him. My mentor says that I obsess about certain romantic figures and make them better than me. I have these notions that I am not good enough for them or they are too good for me. Not to mention how the love scenes totally undid me. I got jealous of the woman! I felt like I was being exposed to the act, as I had been in real life, growing up. That's a form of sa. Witnessing age inappropriate behavior as a child. Carol
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Sannah
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#7
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Quote:
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"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs |
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