[Jenn1fer82]

Throughout my life I fight to the core of my bones to be validated. When someone has hurt me, disrespected I make sure I tell them how I feel. Through out my life it has been many battles each have been different circumstances and have been with all different types of people in my life but I still carry one message with me. "Why don't you ever consider me, What do you think of me that you feel you could treat me this way" This has been the message I've carried in my heart and I've allowed it to soak in my heart for so long. I realized that even though I may be expressing these feelings to others because of a misunderstanding but really I'm yelling back to the demon that had molested me when I was only 8 years old. When I think I've let go of that part of my life, I find it seeping back into my heart. When I feel I'm at my strongest at my best and believing that I will no longer give into what that demon have done to me and allow that day to tell me what I was worth, when I think I'm whole, it is when I'm blinded and finding lost in such pain again.

[mtd]

Jennifer, I can really relate to this experience also, except I haven't been too good about standing up for myself. I feel my anger flowing and feel it when I do lash out at others, especially over little things. I know it shows what just beneath my surface is a lot of pain and frustration and anger that still needs to find a good way out. It's why I use art and writing and other forms of expression to show show myself what I'm feeling towards the two who sexually abused me as a young child. I call them my "demons" also. It really helped me though when counselors had me start drawing my feelings and my demons, and even molding them into clay so I could smash them. It helped take them out of my head and in my hands where I felt more control. If you haven't tried some of this, it might be worthy trying.

Be well,

mtd

[Fuzzybear]

Good post.....................................

[damajdancer]

i wish all of you the best of luck getting through this!
i know how hard it is, but you can do it!
demons can be pushed away from your life.
even though scared, but not as bad as before.
i hope i didnt make your pain worse.
hugs hugs
-megan-

[hillbunnyb]

demons suck

[mtd]

I agree with hillbunnyb.

mtd