[Gemstone]

"You can visit the zoo, but don't stick your hand in the cages, or you will be bit."

I think of this often when reading through threads on this site. This was the only helpful advice the mother ever gave me. She is the zoo too, although she doesn't see it.

The family (and others too) have done awful, preverted and twisted things to us. I can't even talk about some of these things.

Still I go and visit them for the holidays and other times thinking that I just need to distance myself emotionally while with them. Sometimes we are still drawn into the muck and wounded.

Some monsters can bite through the bars of their cages.

[FaithisAlive]

Thats why I stopped going to the zoo ....

Nasty, smelly beasts.

((( Gemmy )))

[pamelasu]

I know how you feel. I use to do the same thing. Then my therapist had suggested to me once to set up boundaries with them because that was all that I needed to do. If you feel that they are inimidating , try to set up your boundaries with them. Be patient this will pass!! I hope you get feeling better soon!!

Hi Gemstone,
I stopped going to the zoo, too. I thought is would make me feel better and happy but it can feel so lonely sometimes. But being at the zoo with company that maliciously bite and scratches your eyes out and then sits and laughs silly because of it isn't- worth the little time of company. And the aftermath, when you're home alone thinking back on it, is always so brutal.
I'm now more interested in animal refuges. ((((((((Gemstone)))))))))

[tallison]

i totally understand the zoo thing.. haven't done it in a long time... this year i'm trying out pet stores and pounds!! hugs!!!
tallie

i stopped visiting the zoo... and had it boarded up, never to be visited again...

you are drawn to them because they are your family, and part of you thinks you should be with them, but make sure you are safe first, and please, dont put your safety and well-being in danger, it just isnt worth it.

simon

I am so impressed by those of you who have been able to/strong enough to stop going to the zoo.

I can not do it because of immense guilt.

I doubt I will ever get to that point.

(((( everyone ))))

guilt of what, petunia?

simon

[Gemstone]

I can't stop going either. When there is someone like a parent whom all you ever wanted was love, kindness and understanding, guilt can be very strong.

guilt of what, petunia?

From walking away from my elderly mother and leaving her alone to die just for my own emotional self-care.

I suppose had I done it years ago, I might not have guilt about this.? (still doubt that)

I'd feel like I'd be abandoning her in her hour of need, even thought that's what she did to me.

I am strong enough to bear it a few more years.

I am not one to bite the dog back, just because it bit me, and that's how I'd feel.

Gem said-- whom all you ever wanted was love

You are well loved now Gemmy.

i respect you for that Petunia, and im glad you have the strength to continue this rough road.

simon