[sotired18]

hi. i am pretty sure my husband is classified as verbally abusive and while in the past his rages were few and far between, lately he has them like every month sometimes even twice. usually it starts with something like telling me i'm stupid and why he married someone so stupid and i leave him alone as i've learned in the past that's the best thing to do but lately even leaving him alone seems to make it worse. he stews and stews and begins to tell me how i'm a bad person and that he can't stand being with me and that he wants a divorce. As of the last three years, I tell him fine. if he wants a divorce i am not keeping him with me but then he begins to get evil saying i will get nothing, no money that he will not pay for anything in my life. which even then i'm thinking whatever, fine. this will go on for about a day sometimes two then he calms down and begins to feel bad. We have a six year old and it makes me sad to think that i am putting her in this position. Last week we left the house to eat dinner while he sat and stewed-- he said he didnt' want to go out with us or doing anything but not five minutes after i left he calls and starts yelling at me about how dare I take our child out to dinner. please keep in mind it was his birthday and i tried to get him out of his funk, i offered to pick up something to eat, anything and he kept shutting me out/shutting me down. so now it's like i'm damned if i do (leave him a lone) and i'm damned if I don't (leave him a lone).

[Sannah]

Can you tell him that this isn't stuff that a 6 yr old should be hearing?

[Leed]

Hi "So tired" ~ What a nightmare you're living. I lived a nightmare like that for 26 years. I didn't leave him because I had 2 kids that I couldn't support on my own. I should have left him anyway because unfortunately, my kids had to hear his rantings all the time -- and it DOES effect the children. Believe me it does. But I was selfish and I was too scared that I couldn't support them.

Your husband is sick. He needs therapy. But it sounds like if you even SUGGESTED it, he would go into a ranting & raving episode that Lord only knows what would happen afterwards.

Do you have somewhere to go? Could you go to your parents or siblings home? Do you have friends that could put you up? Do YOU work? Do you think you could find a job? The way you're living now is going to effect your child in a negative way -- big time. I don't think you want your child living like this, and thinking that this is OK. I sure wouldn't. Otherwise your child is going to think that it's ok to call women horrible names and verbally abuse women all the time. Also, it's not going to be long before he PHYSICALLY abuses you -- wait and see. Actually i hope you DON'T wait and see -- I hope you're OUT of there soon!!!

Please think about it. This is no way to live -- you're being abused in case you haven't realized it yet. He needs help. Maybe if you left him, he might come to terms with his "illness." Who knows. But you need to get your child out of there.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee