Unlovable

We all feel unlovable at times, if not constantly. In my opinion I think it’s a natural feeling for people who have suffered abuse in any way.

Abuse leaves us with so many negative feelings about ourselves. The “ not good enough” is one of them. The “ I must be such a low trash”. So so many negative feelings that works on our self esteem.

When people tell us that we are loveable it is very hard to accept that this might be true. How can it be true when somewhere in our life we were so unlovable that some people had to teach us lessons by physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally hurting us.

For some of us who has suffered abuse we can come, with hard work, to a point where we will accept that yes we are loveable. But for many, myself included, we are not there yet, surely not because we don’t want too but because the “unlovable feeling” is so strong.

For some people, who receive a compliment, they will say “ Thank you”.

For the ones who feels unlovable, they will say “What?! What do you mean?!”

Maybe one day we will feel loveable. Do you think so?

[Fuzzybear]

Excellent post Time0.....I completely agree that it is a natural feeling for anyone who has suffered abuse.

I guess it is a way of shedding false friends from our life if they respond to our honesty with further abuse

Fuzzy

[damajdancer]

(((((((( time0 )))))))))
I think you are loveable.
If you can give love, you can receive it also!
hugs,
-Megan-

For the ones who feels unlovable, they will say “What?! What do you mean?!”

I do this ALL the time. If someone compliments me, right away I think "what do they want?"

I always attributed it to my trust issues.

[Sabrina]

I was about to post the same when I saw Petunia's post.

Yes .. I do this so much that my husband gets quite irritated.

Time ... a good thread.

To me ... you are special and lovable. I know that does not make much of a difference in real life ... but here ... always appreciate you!!

i agree entirley, it is so hard to feel loved, and when you are loved, you begin to panic that the person will leave you, or hurt you the way you were hurt before. to be able to trust someone is just as hard as trying to overcome the sense of being un-lovable, insecurity about one's self is emotionally draining because it can make you feel alone all the time, and not having anyone to hold, trust, and love when you need someone is sometimes heart-breaking.

i, too, have not yet reached the stage of feeling i can be loved, when i really like someone i feel i push them away, or if i dont feel i push them away, i feel they are using me, like my abuser did, and i get very paranoid, which eventually pushes them away. trying to make the other person understand is tough too. nothing emotionally invovled with abuse (of any type) is easy to deal with, but by talking about it, and every so often being reminded of our many qualities, is the only way one can truly recover and rise above the abuse/abuser.

i wish you all the very best in your recovery.

since my mom was the one who "set me up" for my molestation, i felt very unloved by her. and i never got over it. i wasn't sure she ever knew what love truly was. and it has affected me in a huge and horrid way......for 63 years..........p

[hillbunnyb]

))))))))) ))))))TImeO (((((((((( ((( very loveable

Thank you for reading, sharing,caring.

You are all loveable!

And no I don't want nothing.

[JustAPixie]

Some people say that time heals everything, but I believe that love heals everything. We as survivors need to constantly reminded that we are loved and wanted, and others might not always understand this this.

We cannot heal alone - no man is an island. We find healing in loving and understanding relationship, which for most of us is so difficult to achieve. So it's kind of a catch 22...

[Rhapsody]

YOU are lovable..... and when other people leave you feeling less than that just remember that it is they that do NOT love themselves, therefore, they must bring another down in to order feel better about who they are or who they have become.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

(((((time0)))))

Thank you all very much for your understanding and your kindness towards me.

Oh! btw There is a difference between love and pity. A whole lot of difference.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Time0 )))))))))))))))))