[Voltin]

I hate it, I had the thought to try and remember how old I was when I began fighting to keep my father away from me . As close as I can remember it was when I was in the sixth grade . We moved every two years or so and I lost the sequence of living in Oklahoma and living in Kansas . I called my mom to find out when we lived in Kansas and she said we lived in Kansas after Oklahoma . I'm shocked because I lost the memory of this , it's significant because that means after we left my dad in OK. , my mom let him come and take all of us to Kansas to live later . I did not realize that happened. It's like I didn't know my mom took us back to him after what he did . I forgot ...I forgot . I remember him molesting me in Kansas , and I remember silly things like thunderstorms and lightning, I remember they wanted to send me away to school . I remember they had a fight and he drove us back to my grandparents house in the east. I forgot he tried to hurt us before then.

I can't believe she had us living with him after he tried choking her then grab me by the throat when I tried to stop him from hurting her. Things have been jumbled and forgotten , this is just to crazy. Don't know... Do I really need to remember this now , he's dead and I only know I see my mom differently. To old for this, feeling like a kid...feeling like that kid.

[Travelinglady]

I think sometimes these things do just crop up, maybe from some unnoticed trigger in the environment. I also know our minds often shut out painful memories until we are ready to deal with them......

[kaliope]

sorry you had to live like that. I too moved from Oklahoma to Kansas. remember the storms. Kansas was my favorite place to live because my dad was in korea and couldn't hurt us. funny how we remember life by where we lived.

[Voltin]

Thank you two for posting on this.
Yes kaliope , time is noted for me by where I lived and what grade of school I was in . I use the school grade as a timeline in remembering my life through my kids years in school . Since they have been out of school for years I can't say I have markers of time any more except for using the seasons. My dad was in Korea when I was born . We are of a similar situation ... are we collateral damage of the war ?

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I think sometimes these things do just crop up, maybe from some unnoticed trigger in the environment. I also know our minds often shut out painful memories until we are ready to deal with them......

Believe you are right . I asked my mom some questions in a round about way about things . She remembers the attack in Oklahoma , everything else, she drew a blank. I thought I could get more answers before she passed or plain forgot from old age . Guess she blocked it out. She can't remember anything, she said.

[yellowfrog268]

I too have chunks of memory missing from my childhood. I've only recently begun to understand that this is not at all unusual for those abused in childhood. One individual even suggested that it is actually a defense mechanism employed by the mind as a way of keeping the person from going crazy.

[Voltin]

Wow, do you think you even want to know what happened ?

For me...this memory puzzle helps me to understand why I take care of my mom and resent her at the same time . I don't think I want to know any more.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by yellowfrog268

I too have chunks of memory missing from my childhood. I've only recently begun to understand that this is not at all unusual for those abused in childhood. One individual even suggested that it is actually a defense mechanism employed by the mind as a way of keeping the person from going crazy.

I think this is definitely true in my case.

I'm sorry about the hurt suffered by all on this thread.

[Voltin]

My thought is drawn to the fact that I have actually kept boxed puzzles even though I know there are pieces of the puzzle missing . I haven't thought of those puzzles in years
Interesting what these treads have brought to light . Maybe I'm reading more into the boxed puzzles than I should , but to me it might say that the puzzle picture reflects the missing pieces . Oh god ,did I just say that ? That first worksheet may have sunk in finally .