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#1
May 11, 2013, 09:50 PM
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Why do we go back to our abusers in search of some certainty and reason then they just hurt us more?
They call us names or play head games.. why? haven't they done enough? Feeling really stupid.. will right the scenario tomorrow.
__________________
How do you run away from things that are inside your head? 
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 mandazzle, shezbut, tinyrabbit
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 BrokenNBeautiful
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#2
May 12, 2013, 11:29 PM
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(((livefast)))
Gentle hugs to you. 
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
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#3
May 12, 2013, 11:32 PM
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In my opinion, we are searching for approval from a person that we were never able to get approval from. It is very, very common for victims of abuse, especially individuals who were abused in childhood, to feel a strong need for approval from their abusers. Sometimes the abuser grants approval because of a life changing event or just because they have become wiser and more merciful/kind, but most times their behavior remains the same. If you are in therapy, I would recommend asking your therapist to help you analyze the motivation behind reconnecting with abusers and how to stop reconnecting with those that will hurt you. This is very much the same mentality behind women who were abused or abandoned by men in childhood and then find that they constantly end up in situations with abusive or unavailable men. Hugs to you and good luck on your journey.
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"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
| livefast3315
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#4
May 13, 2013, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
 I am very angry now - the rage I am feeling is honestly scaring me.
__________________
How do you run away from things that are inside your head?
Last edited by livefast3315; May 13, 2013 at 12:06 PM. |
| Gr3tta
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| autumnleaves, Gr3tta
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#5
May 13, 2013, 02:46 PM
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((((((( livefast))))))
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#6
May 20, 2013, 01:33 AM
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I'm definitely guilty of this. If someone rejects me or criticizes me, it sets me off on a mission to try and get them to accept me or understand my point of view. I just can't let things go :/
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| livefast3315
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#7
May 24, 2013, 03:16 AM
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I find myself doing this same thing...I keep going back thinking I need to work harder to help HIM understand me , to help HIM understand himself and I use to think HE will love me for being the one to help him !
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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