The name's Jac

Well you can call me Jac. I'm a 15 year old girl from the US and I guess you could say my life hasn't been "normal" but hey, what is "normal" anyway? I move a lot. Too many times to count actually. My mom and my dad were never married and officially separated when I was 4 and so the non stop moving began. It never really has bothered me because I don't really know different. The moving and then living with other people has always been part of my life. My parents and every single member of both sides of my family are alcoholics and also narcotic addicts. Some recovering and some flaring. My mom is the parent who I've stayed with most of my life except for when she'd be in and out of rehab and jail or just losing control. She's got real bad depression and bipolar disorder and I've stopped her on multiple occasions from suicide by slapping the bottle of pills out of her hand. The first time she tried it I was 9 and it was the scariest thing I'd ever seen. Been homeless a few times in my 15 years. Stayed in shelters or with the last few goods friends that actually tolerated my mom because family had enough of her. My dad has always been in and out of the picture. I'd sometimes go up to 4 years without seeing or hearing from him. My mom has had many boyfriends during my time on this earth. Some of which could be tolerated. Others beat us physically and mentally. One, as I grew older, realized he sexually abused me. One had mental health disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and used to tell me how there was people under my bed. Or he'd keep me hostage. He loved to beat my mom in front of me. He knew how it filled me with rage and he knew at 7 years of age there was nothing I could do. Now is something like that happened it would not be tolerated. I have 4 siblings. 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Ive only lived with my brothers. My sisters had different moms but we all had the same dad. Having my parents ditch out on me has left me with some real trust issues. Now I can't stand getting close to people because I don't wanna have to miss someone again. I really don't know why I'm sharing this I guess I just needed to let it out after all these years of just keeping literally everything confined within me. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity. I just need to let son things out finally. Thanks.

Hi Jac, You seem like a very strong person, not wanting pity or sympathy. I'm 51 yrs old, and like you, I have experienced trauma, some as a child, but mostly as an adult. I have found much comfort in spirituality, if you are open to it, it can help you as well. I'm sending healing vibes and love your way! You are worthy and deserving! Age is just a number, I would enjoy having you as friend. If you like, you can message me back, but no pressure. Take care!!!