[Confused213]

Well, therapy is going. I'll give you some backstory.

I initially began therapy because
a) deep feelings of guilt
b) shame from past event(s)
c) a few strange memories and nightmares that I can't explain

The last point, c, has left me confused about what might have happened to me as a kid. I remember some sketchy things happening. Those are concrete memories. Then there are other, less certain memories, yet more explicit, which were "recalled" (but not concretely?) after some other things happened. But these are in no way certain.

I told my therapist about these, and she said, based on the sexually explicit nightmares that I had as a child and the vague recollections, she thinks that it's near certain I was molested.

I have an issue with this because
a) how can anyone know?
b) she has a vested interest in my issues, although I trust her.

I'm still at the "maybe" part. I think maybe I was molested. I have no way of knowing though.

I asked my therapist how she would deal with a maybe, and she responded that she couldn't say because she isn't me.

So, I ask you all. How do you deal with "maybe"? How do you cope with uncertainties? My therapist told me what healthy coping might look like if I resolved to believe a yes, and I see how that would be helpful, but I'm not there. I'm not at a yes. At least, not yet.

What do I do?

Thanks.

[tinyrabbit]

I've been going through something similar, and I just want to tell you I understand. I don't think any vaguely sane person could go about their life without being tormented by these maybes.

Personally, I came to see that I was tormented by these questions for a reason, and that the real thing standing in the way of finding answers was the struggle between me and... me. Part of me wanted answers, part of me didn't.

I know it's hard to just sit tight with this. It's frustrating and I'm sorry. I think that, in time, you will find you have the answers already, whatever they may be.