[babs92]

Hi everyone. I have just had my third psychotherapy session and have yet again come out totally exhausted. I have cried so much about the mother I never had and needed desperately, but it feels cleansing emotionally. My therapist is male and is very kind and already we have a good rapport, I trust him.

The grief is overpowering, the abuse overwhelming and the loneliness is unbearable. I have to set aside my 12 year old neice's abuse by my mother now (she is living with my mother and her father cos of abuse by her own mother). I cannot help her but I pray that she will have the strength and find a way out of her nightmare too. BUT I have to get through this - I have finally found a therapist I can trust completely. Thanks for listening.

I am scared of new beginnings and of going forward but I know I must for my sake and my family.

Today my therapist asked me if I was like my mother in any way. I thought long and hard about this and I put my hand on my heart and said "I can honestly say now that I am not like her at all, a bit highly strung perhaps (because of what I have been through) but no, I am not like her and I am a good person. I have always been honest in all of my entire life (maybe cos I had such a bad mother I did the opposite!)"

My T is going on holiday next week so will miss a session but he really centred me to stay in the present and to take each moment as it comes, to try and not go back in the past for now. I came away feeling quite light and his words stayed with me.

[JustAPixie]

(((((((( baps ))))))))

[babs92]

Thanks so much Tanya

[JustAPixie]

I'm so glad you found someone... so many T's are just full of manure!!!! It's scary to move one, to let go of things that have become so entwined in your life that they define who you are... Look at it this way, you can start dreaming of who you really want to be...

wow, well done babs, blimey...what an achievement. just goes to show how helpful therapists can be.

good luck with the continual support and things will get better soon, you are certainly on the right path.

simon

[babs92]

Thanks so much to you both.

best wishes.

[(JD)]

Yes, sounds like you are doing good work in therapy. Keep yourself mindful of the tasks at hand, as you do them. No therapy work outside of the session, and you will be ok. So glad you have a good T!!!