Staying Positive

I find it difficult to stay positive while surrounded by a very negative person all of the time. I try my best to tune out his pessimistic attitude but I know that some of it is getting in and influencing me and my decisions. Does anyone else have to deal with a negative influence trying to bring you down on a daily basis?

I've actually cut all the negative people from my life. Many family members who could not understand my depression (bipolar 1). I just can't cope with all their negative comments so I don't.--Suzy

You knew you were gonna get a response from me, didn't you, Susan?

You know I do. It truly is difficult to live with someone like that day after day. Sometimes I don't have the energy to counteract the negative but when I do, I try to fill my head with beauty. If I can't see nature, then I consentrate on my plants or I look at gardening books. I look at pictures of the ocean, streams, lakes, etc. If all else fails, I go lay down and create my favorite place.

Maybe it's the rebel in me that won't allow him to bring me down to far. If all else fails, I leave the house and take my dog for a walk. There's usually someone to talk to and pretty gardens to see. Depending on how negative it's been at home, the length of our walk will depend on the severity. There's nothing like an animal to cure you of what ails you.

I'm sure you've made friends among your Avon customers. If so, stay and chat with them when you have deliveries to make. Then don't listen "to the music" when you get home.

You can always email me or PM me, ya know! LOL

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Susan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Yes, I have to deal with this too on a daily basis. It's very hard sometime and also very draining.

Like you say, some of it is getting in and influencing me and my decisions. So often he will say that "we" have failed that I feel I am a failure. So often he will say that "we" are stupid that I think I am. Not only is he very negative but the "we" is also so often there.

" I " think that living in a negative way all the time makes a person very unhappy and hateful towards the whole universe.

I am a very positive person because if I were not I would have died a long time ago. It's very important for me to see the small beauty of this world and my concentration is usually in that direction. Harmony is what I live by, not maybe when he is around me because his negativity is very strong but when I am out of his sight I am a completelly different person.

I wish you wouldn't have to live with so much negativity dear Ozzie. You are a wonderful person. Try to feed your positivity with people who are also and see the small beauty that this world offer you.

Love you my friend! ((((((((Ozzie)))))))))

((((((((Ozzie)))))))))))))

My husband is always negative .. and complains all the time - although he doesn't perceive that he complains. But it sounds like complaining to me. Most of the time I can ignore it but there are times when I am low or just really needing reassurance from him .. and he complains .. and then I'm devastated or feel hopeless.

I don't have any helpful advice - I wonder many times myself as to what can I do. I suspect that the person who has to change is myself. I have to change how I react. And I have to not be so dependent upon another person's acceptance - even when that person is my husband. But I find that easier to say then actually put into practice. I don't think anyone can "make" another person change. This is just how he is.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful except to say I have a similiar situation.

((((((((((((((((((Ozzie)))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((Suzy))))) I'm sorry it has been that bad for you.

I sure hoped I would get a reply from you. Yes, looking at beauty in the gardens is helpful and visiting with all my Avon friends helps too. It's been really good for me to have them and to be getting out of the house. He rarely goes anywhere!

Thanks for your encouragement. I know you battle the same thing and that you understand where I'm coming from.

Thanks a bunch ((((((((time0))))))))) I know you also deal with this on a daily basis. Ya know, sometimes I wonder why our positive attitudes don't rub off on them instead of the other way around. Maybe someone can address that for us.

Thanks a bunch for the hugs, (((((((Pickle)))))))

Thanks Peanut. I think I get really mad at myself for allowing his opinions to be so important to me and to make such an impact on my decisions. I've been working on trying to stop doing that for 40 years and his negativity still get in on a daily basis. Like Sept says, I need to get out among my Avon friends and get away from it as much as I can.

Thanks for the hugs, ((((((((((Wants2Fly))))))))))) Guess I still need to vent now and then.

I don't have a mate, Ozzie, so I didn't feel qualified to really say anything worthwhile about it. I know it is tough, having grown up with a negative mother.

It is soooo difficult tuning out the negativity. I've never been real good at it.

One time though, I took to tape recording my ex (before we were ex'es) and played it back for him when he was in a more receptive and better mood. He honestly couldn't believe he sounded as negative as he did. It was an eye opener for him and he really did try to be more postive after that. After awhile though, I think his depression just took stronger hold of him and he just couldn't fight his way out of a wet paperbag

I hope you can find something that works for you Susan.

Hugssssssss
J

My mom, when I'm around her, her depression and her miserable negative attitude, can easily be contagious or literally drive me to drink.
I go and help her and then quickly get back home, to avoid the "disease". So far the depression is highly contagious, emotionally draining, by the time I reach home I'm so burnt out, and runned down.
Pdoc's suggestion, "limit your time with here".

Did Ozzie qualify that it was her mate?? I don't think so... just "someone" negative. Even the experiances with a negative mother would count, I would think.

Find a magazine with beautiful pictures in it and look at it when all else fails! LOL Go outside in the shade and look at it!

Yes, Ozzie, my children. On a daily basis, at least one or more people are negative. I have always been influenced by the attitudes of those around me. I can keep my positive attidue for brief spurts until I just give up; if you can't beat em' join em'.

Forty year habits do not change even in one year...imo. Keep at it! You go girl!

Frozen, I had to learn to disengage from people's moods. Just because they were being negative, it didn't mean I had to be, too. If it's your kids that are being negative, correct them! You're the mommy! I know it's not easy, but it's not impossible, either! It takes a lot of practice.

I think I try but I do give up too easily. I feel like a gentle deer just struck by a large bus, lying there, barely alive, when 4 vultures come in, pick away until there isn't any life left.

I LOVE my babies, I hope no one takes my ramblings the wrong way but I AM trying to be mommy, all by myself. At times, it sucks and I just can't handle the stress. This is when those times of trying to remain positive are picked away to nothing because, I don't feel any ounce of effort on their parts. I guess I've been angry too long or something....

Maybe they're finding it tough, too, to break a bad habit. Not as a punishment but as a time for reflection for them, can you send them to a different part of the house with a pen and notebook in hand and have them right down what is "eating them" and then write something positive to replace the negativity?

That way, you get them out of your hair, you don't have to listen to them and it helps them to break the cycle, too. What do you think? Might it work?

Only one can actually write, one is just learning, and the other two are itty bitty.

Today was a good day, since I talked about it here, I was able to remain calm. If I felt the stress monster stirring, I just looked away, focused on a spot, and used a lot of 'I' statements, and was suprised to find my 12 year old helping out like he never had before.

Well, something's working for you! YAY!!!