[sandysue44]

I am in a very complicated and abusive relationship. I made the mistake of letting him move in with me. In the past he got drunk and physically assaulted me several times. He went to jail for that and a dui. His things are in my spare bedroom and legally I can't get them out. I made the mistake of having him legally evicted from the trailer park I live in. Later the manager assumed he was living with me and had me evicted. I told her he was not living with me which is true, he is living with a friend down the street. He is abusive verbally at times and is not at all what I want in my life. I need to get him out peacefully. He has a court date, and I don't want to see him go to jail again but I would like to see a way to get him out peacefully. If I ever call the cops again I will be evicted. In the past I have run out of my house screaming and no one helped me. No one wants to get involved. I was told the reason I was to be evicted was because I ran out of my house screaming. So if he ever physically assaulted me I could not ask for help. I don't want to live this way. I'd like to join Christian Mingle. I am 59. He is 41. I'd like to meet a decent Christian man who doesn't smoke or drink excessively my own age. I want some stability and peace in my life. I need him out of my life peacefully. I want his things out of my home too. I need to start a new life free from abuse and misery.

[gayleggg]

If he wasn't living with you, how much stuff can he have at your house? I would wait until the court date and see if he is going to go to jail. If so, and he doesn't have family that should get his stuff donate it to charity. However, if the let him out of jail instead you might try to get one of his friends to pick up his stuff. That would keep him away from you and your house. Good luck, hopefully things will have a peaceful ending.

[peacequest]

Originally Posted by sandysue44

I am in a very complicated and abusive relationship. I made the mistake of letting him move in with me. In the past he got drunk and physically assaulted me several times. He went to jail for that and a dui. His things are in my spare bedroom and legally I can't get them out. I made the mistake of having him legally evicted from the trailer park I live in. Later the manager assumed he was living with me and had me evicted. I told her he was not living with me which is true, he is living with a friend down the street. He is abusive verbally at times and is not at all what I want in my life. I need to get him out peacefully. He has a court date, and I don't want to see him go to jail again but I would like to see a way to get him out peacefully. If I ever call the cops again I will be evicted. In the past I have run out of my house screaming and no one helped me. No one wants to get involved. I was told the reason I was to be evicted was because I ran out of my house screaming. So if he ever physically assaulted me I could not ask for help. I don't want to live this way. I'd like to join Christian Mingle. I am 59. He is 41. I'd like to meet a decent Christian man who doesn't smoke or drink excessively my own age. I want some stability and peace in my life. I need him out of my life peacefully. I want his things out of my home too. I need to start a new life free from abuse and misery.

This relationship probably won't get any better. You are right in wanting to end it peacefully. You've had enough trauma already and it would seem a good thing for you to make a clean break. Let go of the past and believe you can get the stability and peace that you so desire. Everyone deserves no less. You are courageous in looking at the situation with this abusive person for what it is and ending it before it gets even worse. I lived with physical abuse (a husband who was ten years younger than me) for over fifteen years. Some men will prey on women, and use and abuse them, then throw them to the curb. When a woman is significantly older than her partner, she is vulnerable on so many fronts. Don't leave yourself open to more abuse. My husband was in jail four different times during the course of our marriage. It turns out he's bipolar, but hey they is no excuse for violence--nothing is. Take good care of yourself.

[sandysue44]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

If he wasn't living with you, how much stuff can he have at your house? I would wait until the court date and see if he is going to go to jail. If so, and he doesn't have family that should get his stuff donate it to charity. However, if the let him out of jail instead you might try to get one of his friends to pick up his stuff. That would keep him away from you and your house. Good luck, hopefully things will have a peaceful ending.

You would be surprised at the amount of stuff he has stored in my spare bedroom, large collections of vinyl albums, valuable WWII memorabilia (His dad fought in the SS for Germany) against Poland didn't kill any Jews, valuable action figures and other things. Believe me they cram that room. I can't give them away because it is a civil matter but he can press charges. It is not legal to harm another person's things I understand. They are very valuable and unreplaceable genuine action figures and things from WWII. Yes, Nazi things too. His mother and step father visited him yesterday. She is a wealthy woman and paid for an attorney for him. She has a calming effect on him. He fixed a pipe and is the good Chris and all is calm. I wish he wouldn't morph into this monster. It is so obvious. He is like a shape shifter.

[sandysue44]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

If he wasn't living with you, how much stuff can he have at your house? I would wait until the court date and see if he is going to go to jail. If so, and he doesn't have family that should get his stuff donate it to charity. However, if the let him out of jail instead you might try to get one of his friends to pick up his stuff. That would keep him away from you and your house. Good luck, hopefully things will have a peaceful ending.

And now things are good. I just wish I could control myself when I see him morph into that monster. I hate it. I truly think he has a neurological problem because I have seen him act like it. I also wonder if he is schizophrenic. It is like he is a shape shifter and goes from Chris 1 to Chris 2. It really scares and upsets me mostly because I always react. When I point it out to him he gets furious. He won't get mental health care. He started to just for jail and went on meds but never got counseling. I do know that if we broke up I would go on Christian Mingle and look for a God fearing man my age- 60 or older. (Chris is 41) Yeah I know, Cougar. Not really. I would look for a man who is emotionally, spiritually and financially stable. I am concerned about when would be the right time to tell a prospective partner about my Bi Polar Disorder. That is a big deal.