[crylight]

I don't want to ramble, so I'll be as concise as possible.

Growing up my parents argued non-stop. It caused some PTSD, things got (and still get) physical from time to time. Just last night I had to talk my father down from trying to slap my sister for being out past 11pm. By the way she's 19.

My family was raised very religious. We went to church at least 3 times a week if not more. Having to wear a "mask" and pretend everything was good wasn't just encouraged, but seen as a positive trait. I learned from a young age that expressing my distress was a no-no. After all, how can you complain when you're so "blessed"

Some people call this mask fronting. Recently it's put a kink in some friendships and even forced me to move out of my living arrangements. I can't blame people for feeling "lied to" when I don't speak up about something that bothers me. Especially for a long time. My roommates at the time...I saw them as fairly messy, but they were also my friends. I loved them and wanted to accept that part of them or at least overlook it and just clean myself. Well basically it didn't work out that way, and they didn't know the mess bothered me so much. It all came to a head and we talked about all sorts of psychological issues.

It's putting me through a hard time, making my lows worse, I found out I might have an ED. It's all very confusing and I can't get into therapy regularly.

Has anyone else experienced this level of discouragement because of past abuse? How badly has it damaged your relationships around you and have you found a way to move past it and become a better person? That's what I'm seeking.

[blueredgrey]

Dear crylights,

I'm so sorry for all the pains you've gone thru. It's really unfair when parents want to project the "perfect family" image and all feelings have no room. But it's typical of narcissistic dysfunctional families.

I request you to read articles by Dr. Karyl McBride, in psychology today. She's written a lot about dysfunctional families. It really helped me, especially when therapy is difficult to afford. Also, Dr. Gregory Jantz has written a lot about emotional abuse -

Dr. Gregory Jantz | Page 2
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...distorted-love

Ending abuse in your life can be a great way to start your recovery. If you are a minor, perhaps you can talk to your school or college counsellor. If you are an adult...can you and your sister move out if you can afford it??

I request you to write all about emotional and physical abuse you've gone thru. Writing is very therapeutic. It gives a clarity to your thoughts. Talk as much as you can about it with your sister....you both can atleast have each other's back, since your mom is clearly not going to stand up for you guys.

Get into therapy as soon as you can.....as if it is left unhealed, the pain spills over onto your other relationships.

We're here to help. My best wishes!!

[Fuzzybear]

[A Red Panda]

We had to do the perfect family image too.

If you ever bring things up with them... do you get the "oh it's just X being X, it's just who they are, just go along with it..." sort of stuff? I get that a lot. Every. Single. Time.

Like... I stand up for myself by now (I havea LOT of physical distance which makes it easier when I'm around them), but it never goes well - the show much go on!

Some people are ridiculous.