[Littlefish]

I know it is not my fault of the rape and other past abuse, but i m trying so hard to push me to normal life , but i still hard to eat proper, wash faces etc, wash clothes etc, why so?

[arod13]

little fish i have to same problem still tryin to figure out how to not blame myself knowing its not our fault doesn't convince me i guess it takes time i still don't eat properly basically starve myself and i guess i do it subconsciously not really intentionally and everything becomes a chore i know sorry i couldn't be of any help but at least you know ur not alone....

[FaithisAlive]

I think when we are treated in ways that devalue us, we can fall into that feeling, believing it.. of being devalued...and therefore we can end up not treating ourselves any better than those who abused us.

We have to reach a point where we stand up and decide we are worth more than the abusers thought we were... we can't let the abuse define us...

For me, I have been able to rise above alot because I refused to let those who hurt me continue to control my life... and as long as we keep on listening to that whisper in our heads, telling us we are only as worthy as the abuse made us feel, we are letting the abuser control our lives.

Every day that you don't take care of yourself is another day the abusers hold you hostage.Am I making sense? sometimes I have a hard time saying what I am thinking.. I hope I am getting it out so it makes sense...

Anyway.. look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you are loved... that you are beautiful.. inside and out.. and that today is a new day .. today is the day you begin to live better...the day you begin to treat yourself better..take each day one step at a time...and it will become a habit.

[Littlefish]

Thanks for the support, i find another problem , since of the abuse background, why am i still seem addicted to put myself in misery situation?
I know what is a good and happy life, but why addicted to abuse and misery life?

[arod13]

littlefish - bad habits hard to break - sometimes its what u are used to you may know what makes you happy but you can be scared to get it for yourself because u never had it before more of like a comfort zone

[Renew]

i agree with arod. But i think also, when a person is used to certain things, whether they are negative or positive, it is difficult to understand things outside of that, and hard to relate. It is a process that takes time for change. When a person is in any situation constantly, it can affect thinking patterns. When the mind is adjusted to one thinking style, it is difficult to see outside of the "box" that one is in. But there is difference outside of each person's perception, and there is hope for you littlefish. You are already taking steps.

[(JD)]

Sometimes just going through the motions does seem like too much to do, but it will help you get through the bad memories.

Don't push yourself otherwise, don't dwell in the experience of the past. Terrible things do happen to ppl, I'm sorry it happened to you. Allow yourself to realize that you are still a worthwhile person, You are not what happens to you, you are who you become inspite of adversity. (((hugs)))

[JustAPixie]

((((((( Littlefish ))))))