[dogzrule]

Hi all. I will try and make my story as concise as possible in order to get to my real question. I was in an abusive relationship last year/earlier this year, to the point that I became so depressed I attempted suicide. I was hospitalized and worked with a great therapist, but now I am no longer seeing my therapist and I am off my depression meds. Generally I feel a lot better about myself and I know the physical and emotional abuse was not my fault, but my abuser still lives in the same town I do. I dated someone else until a few weeks ago, when he unexpectedly broke up with me. I'm dealing with this as well as I can, but what really makes me upset and nervous is now I feel completely alone while still living in the same town as my abuser. He knows where I live and where I work. The restraining order is up. I really have no reason to believe that he would come after me, but there is always the thought in the back of my mind that nothing would really stop him. I live alone, so if I were to be blindsided no one would necessarily know. Does anyone have any advice to calm down and put the thoughts that are always in the back of my mind at ease?

Thanks for any help.

[healingme4me]

I know, exactly how you feel, about living in the same town. I'm 742yards away, from mine. Twice a week, a little closer than 100yards, through court order, to conduct drop off/pick up, of my children's visitation with him.
I still, get skittish, in my car, where assault transpired. I'm on edge, sometimes, at night, because after all, it really is just a piece of paper. I'll face him, in court a couple more times, before the restraining order hearing in August.
I'm worried about the effects, his visitation, has on the kids, who've been displaying effects, in school(another story, another thread). I reroute certain things, like where to go for coffee, gas, what time I go grocery shopping, things to avoid running into him. Which one time, I walked into the grocery store, from one direction, he from another, he eitger didn't see me, but made it into gut of store before me, I slipped right back out the way I came in.
I carry my xanax with me, at all times, because I never know, when my anxiety will occur. .
Just know, you aren't alone

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[blueredgrey]

Dear dogzrule,

I'm so sorry you were in an abusive relationship. But hats off on recovering from it.

Your abusive ex may or may not cause problems - you are right in worrying about your safety....it's always good to secure yourself.

I request you to check out this site - Crime Safety Security for women & children
Knowledge is power.

Here are a few other things you can do -

1. Learn basic self-defense - it's a must for all men and women....you may never know when you may need it.
2. Get pepper spray and keep it somewhere accessible.
3. Ensure you have proper locks at home and a peephole at the door. The lock doesn't have to be fancy electronic - good old solid lock shd do.
4. Always keep doors and windows locked.
5. If you still feel insecure....maybe you can move out? Or get some roomies to live with you?

Your paranoid thoughts wd, I think go away when you takes steps to secure yourself.

Good luck!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by blueredgrey

Dear dogzrule,

I'm so sorry you were in an abusive relationship. But hats off on recovering from it.

Your abusive ex may or may not cause problems - you are right in worrying about your safety....it's always good to secure yourself.

I request you to check out this site - Crime Safety Security for women & children
Knowledge is power.

Here are a few other things you can do -

1. Learn basic self-defense - it's a must for all men and women....you may never know when you may need it.
2. Get pepper spray and keep it somewhere accessible.
3. Ensure you have proper locks at home and a peephole at the door. The lock doesn't have to be fancy electronic - good old solid lock shd do.
4. Always keep doors and windows locked.
5. If you still feel insecure....maybe you can move out? Or get some roomies to live with you?

Your paranoid thoughts wd, I think go away when you takes steps to secure yourself.

Good luck!

Hey, thanks for sharing this. I concur, that if you feel confident about self-defense skills, it helps with the anxiety, immensely. I learned some hand-to-hand skills, from a Marine Office Candidate, back in college. I could break an elbow, if I needed to.

[dogzrule]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Hey, thanks for sharing this. I concur, that if you feel confident about self-defense skills, it helps with the anxiety, immensely. I learned some hand-to-hand skills, from a Marine Office Candidate, back in college. I could break an elbow, if I needed to.

Thanks everyone for the replies. Self-defense sounds like a great option, I'll have to see what's available near me. Do you guys have any suggestions about organizations that might do these kinds of things? I live in the US. I'll look though in my area.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by dogzrule

Thanks everyone for the replies. Self-defense sounds like a great option, I'll have to see what's available near me. Do you guys have any suggestions about organizations that might do these kinds of things? I live in the US. I'll look though in my area.

I think, if you call your local pd,,non emergency, they May have resources.

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