Stepmonster

To you, my stepmonster,

I don't believe in hate. but I find myself hating you. I hate how you hurt me and my family. I hate that I have no self-confidence because your words still hurt me. I hate that I can't feel pretty because of how much you told me I wasn't. I hate how many times you threatened to kill me and my daddy. I hate that I believed you. I hate that I cut when I was so young because you hurt me so bad. I hate that I hoped for a fatal illness to take my life so I wouldn't have to. I hate you say you're a Christian but don't act like it. I hate myself sometimes because your words still hurt me inside so badly. I hate depression. I hate bipolar disorder. I hate that I might have them because of my 10 yrs with you.

Most of all, I hate that my Daddy stayed there with you after I ran away. I hate that he died at that house of pain instead of with people who loved him like us.

I hate you!!

And I hate me.

Hallie

ALL CHILDREN if they have been abused in any
way,will take the blame for that abuse because they
are so dependent on adults to live. So they arrive at
wrong conclusion "It must be me,I'm the one who
is bad and wrong." (wrong as a person).
If you need more info,message me,no problem.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

I just hate myself today. it doesn't always bother me. but today it really does.

Stay strong xxxxx I'm the same. But my step monster left two years ago. I wonder sometimes if she was still with him, would she be visiting me in hospital, coming every week just to push me further over the edge.
Thank god I made her leave.
But the pain NEVER will.
It wasn't your fault, but I know how you got to think it might be. Hope you're ok xxxx