[Unrigged64072835]

I was in a marriage where I was sexually abused for four years. My then- husband committed suicide instead of going through a divorce because he knew the abuse would be brought up in court. It's been a long time since he died but memories of the abuse came up recently and I'm in therapy working on them. I'm now in a more stable marriage with a much better man as well, but we've married over 2 ½ years and it seems to be a trigger for me now.

I was out of town when my late husband died. Because of how he talked about me to his family and friends I skipped the funeral and memorial service for him out of shame. My therapist thinks it would be a good idea to write a goodbye letter to him now.

Has anybody else done this, and did it help?

[mazing]

I did something similar to my abuser. I never had the chance to stand up to them or tell them how their actions had affected me. It was definitely not an easy thing to write but it did help. It allowed me an outlet to say what I had always wanted to say. It allowed me to get it out and discuss my feelings - both good and bad.

I would suggest trying it It doesn't work for everyone but it can be helpful.

[Rzay4]

That's really hard and honestly I couldn't see doing it. Especially since my abuser was my older brother who died in 2005 when I was 15. Good luck to you.

[nicoleflynn]

It is called, "Restorative Justice"---meaning...this is what you did; this is how it made me feel. THe letter is for YOU, not the abuser. I did it and it helped (Abuser is dead). It is a way of taking your power back, I believe.