Misconceptions about forgiveness

Well I can only speak for myself, but I agree that nobody should ever feel pressured into forgiveness. To me, forgiveness is like faith in God. It must be given freely, from the heart, or it is meaningless.

I also agree that it is much, much, much, much more difficult to forgive someone who is not sorry. And unfortunately I think the vast majority of abusers are never truly sorry for what they do. Only sorry they got caught. In my case, I have been emotionally and verbally abused by several family members, and I am convinced that every one of them will go to their graves without ever admitting they did anything wrong, let alone feeling one ounce of genuine remorse.

But I do hope to forgive them someday, for one reason only -- for my sake. Whether I forgive them or not doesn't affect them at all, because they really couldn't care less what I think and feel, and I don't expect that will ever change. But I just don't want to be angry my whole life. Right now, I have tremendous anger towards them, and there are days when I feel like I need that anger. It helps to spur me on, to build a better a better life for myself -- away from them. But really, I could still achieve my goals without being angry and the bottom line is I don't want to spend the rest of my life holding all this rage inside. So I hope I can forgive them someday. Though realistically, that day is likely a long ways away, if it ever comes at all.

But really, I could still achieve my goals without being angry and the bottom line is I don't want to spend the rest of my life holding all this rage inside. .