I need to get something off my chest...

There's something that happened to my younger brother years ago that still makes me ashamed to this day because I never did anything about it. I don't know how old we were, maybe 9/7. We were pretty good friends with these neighborhood kids but the oldest sister was a flip of the coin bully--she would act nice one day but then she would make us do things or scare us or say mean things or pretend we're invisible the next. One day she told us that it was "Dare Day" and that we had to do whatever she told us to do. So she told my brother and her brother to lick each other's penises. I tried telling her no but she told them they had to do it, so I covered my face with my hands while they hid in a bush and did it. After they did it, they didn't appear to act like it was a big deal and my brother remarked that it tasted like "apple juice".

My brother is now 19 years old and he has no mental health problems, he's very popular and has a big circle of good friends he hangs out with, and he handles two jobs and school on top of it. His life is good and he's always happy. We've never spoken about that day and I am always ashamed that I have failed as a sister because I never stood up for him and allowed that to happen.

I'm not sure what I should do now. He's an adult so I don't think there is really anything to do, and his life doesn't seem impaired because of it and he's had sex with several girls so it hasn't seemed to affect that either.

Should I tell my therapist about this? I'm afraid she might try to get in contact with my brother or my parents. My parents have no idea, and I don't want to bring it up to my brother either. But this is seriously bothering me as a sister.

You were young, so was he, it is really no-ones fault. The mean girl could have been molested or introduced to sex somehow at her age, making her act outwards via all of the other kids. I would not even bother to bring it up to your brother either, it does not seem to have played that big of a roll in his development and if he is happy, why bother? I think you need to forgive yourself, because healing starts inward and there is nothing you can do about the past.

Maybe you could send a letter to the mean girl.

It sounds like your brother has grown into a wonderful young man and that is awesome. I wouldn't bring it up to him but I do think you should confide in your therapist about the situation and how it has made you feel all of these years. Your therapist can help you heal so that you can put it all behind you. I doubt very seriously if he/she will try to contact your parents, brother or anyone regarding this as your sessions are all about you and your feelings. Therapists are supposed to respect their patient's concerns and confidentiality. I wish you peace and happiness.