please tell me I'm not alone

hi
I'm struggling right now with something and would like some feedback. I've got a lot of trauma in my background due to CSA and 18 surgeries and multiple hospitalizations. I also have a disability which confines me to a power chair. Due to all this, my perception of touch is distorted. I've come to the conclusion that I am touch-starved for positive, healthy touch....however, I'm so desperate for touch that I am afraid I'll settle for any type of touch I can get, even if it's not healthy. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Can someone possibly give me some advice or tips on how to get the touch I crave in a safe way? All help is much appreciated........I feel I am slowly dying from lack of touch.......apparently failure-to-thrive due to inadequate touch doesn't just apply to infants. Thanks in advance.
Toe

Dear Toesquasher,

I've often talked about this with my pdoc and T. I absolutely feel like I'm not thriving the way I could if I just had someone to hold me for a little while or hold my hand etc.
I'm sorry that I can't offer terrific advice, and I don't know the extent of your injuries, but I did find a female massage therapist that is very sensitive and does a great job. She also sometimes works in a nursing home for a few specific clients that also have arthritis and need of touch. She can come to my house, but so far, I always go to the spa to see her. I'm trying to build up to one day going to a male massage therapist, but ones that are super safe are hard to find. At least it is something to consider.
I also finally got a dog, and it is proven that animals and rubbing their fur can be of great benefit in raising endorphins. I know that you are in a wheelchair, any chance a service dog would be an option not just for the sense of touch but also for safety enhancement.
I wish you only the best and hope you can find a way to get your needs met!
Gentle hugs,
Wysteria Blue

You know, I felt like this after my only daughter grew up and moved away. (I'm divorced.) I missed holding her, sleeping with her in her bed on occasion, literally missed brushing her hair. It's a kind of sensory deprivation.

I think older folks must experience this, too. After my father died, my mother enjoyed going to the chiropractor. She needed to go due to health issues but I think it also fulfilled her need for touch.

I think a dog would do u some good. They give unconditional love and just will let u pet them forever. I know ur confined to a chair so a big dog that eats a lot and needs long walks or a big yard may not be right but there r smaller dogs that don't eat much and don't need lots of space or cleaning up after. It's a good start for some physical contact that can't be wrong.