Argh!!!!

So tired and..... so mad I could spit nails!! ....

why does she do this all the time? how do I let it happen?? get myself feeling I finally do belong, then she goes and leaves me out......

Is it just me?? Maybe it's OK for family to tell you of an event that is coming-- but not the date and then, not contact you again until after it's over....... and then tell you how great it was, they got to see cousin so and so and aunt what's her name......

I was left out again.... I've always been quiet, don't ever cause trouble..... why aren't I included?? Hurts to keep being left out..... I only ever wanted to belong... maybe I'm too quiet(hardly ever talk), or too small(I'm the shortest in my family) is my hair too brown or maybe it's my eyes. Did I know too many secrets when I was little-- so I'm not a good candidate for a family member?? WHAT?? What IS it???

is this really me posting this??

thank you.
mandy

[InACorner]

im sorry...my heart goes out to you...my family doesnt include me either...hang in there i know your strong and brave...you made it this far..continue to post and let us know how you are doing

[__zh]

sweetie....very very tired and brain is breaking down day by day from med change and it ain't good....that said our thoughts on yer post follow:

maybe you're too good for them...ever thought of it in that way? being dead serious here. maybe your level of awareness and your healing work puts the fear of sumthin' in them and they're afraid to invite you as you may expose secrets becaus you're not silent any longer? skeletons? the truth?
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
is this really me posting this??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> don't take on their stuff mandy....just keep on working on yours.

and eat too please ((mf))

Oh dear InACorner, I'm so very sorry that your family doesn't include you either.

thank you for your kindness and for replying.

mandy

_zh, I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it at the moment. I hope things will get better for you real soon.... I'm here to listen if that will help.

Heh, your comment about not being silent and knowing "the truth".... reminds me--- the psychologist I just recently "ran" from -- , he used to tell me I was a "truth sayer".... meaning that I don't cover things up or paint things a lighter shade. I will hold others to their "truths" and perhaps that causes some to have anxiety??.... not sure if I should be doing that.....??....

You said: "don't take on their stuff mandy....just keep on working on yours." Yea, that sounds empowering-- thank you! Ta Wanda!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ever see Fried Green Tomatoes? the women in that movie would say that when they felt empowered-- at least.... I think that's what they were saying- )

Feeling embarrassed and scared that I started this thread though...... doesn't quite seem right, so used to stuffing it all in. Odd how I seem to be at a crossroads lately---stuffing it in feels more and more like I'll explode, yet... voicing it causes much anxiety........ such a quandary!

I appreciate your taking the time to reply to me, and especially when you are so struggling yourself. Thank you very very much.

And, OK-- I will try to eat some. -- even if it's difficult. Thanks for that too. (when I was little I used to think I might just disappear if I don't eat. Some adults used to tease me that I better not go outside-- as the wind will just pick me up and I'll land in another city far away, little did they know-- I was wishing that.)

mandy