Are you angry at your abuser(s)? might trigger

I am working in therapy at getting in touch with my anger towards my abusers. I don't feel anger towards them, not sure why...

T suspects I am suppressing those feelings, I really don't think I am, but maybe

Do you feel anger towards your abuser(s)? Can you share how anger manifests for you and what it feels like?

thank you
CSC

Mostly im just cold and sarcastic. You get me talking about stuff, and what you start to hear is not going to be pleasant. So i guess im usually sitting here with my anger like a coiled up snake. You gotta poke it with a snake to get it hissing. Then you just better run cuz you will not survive it. I think thats how i experience both my anger, and my parents. As long as i left them alone, i was safe. Of course, some interaction was unavoidable, and thats when there was trouble.

i totally get what you are feeling. In my case i dont feel angry towards who wronged me is because i believe they are totally not worth it and life taught me a lesson -a big one . So even though i suffered too i m glad i got a positive lesson out of it and life isnt easy for anyone its just that their problems are different thn ours and getting angry when u cant do anythin abt them will eventually lead to depression and its simply not worth it.

No, I'm not angry. I don't feel that at all.
I feel sick with fear. I am so frightened.
Of an old man who lives two hundred miles away. Of something that happened twenty four years ago. And now I feel ashamed of the fear!

thank you for taking the time to reply....it definitely helps to read varying responses

I am angry at them for you. You are such a good person and deserved so much better.

I'm not sure about my feelings.

Sometimes when I think about specific things my ex did, I feel hurt and confused and very angry. But I suspect (though I have no confirmation of this) that he was abused himself growing up. He wasn't malicious, he was just taking what he'd learned and passing it on. Don't know how I feel about that (I also might be wrong, just some of the things he used to say...)

My mother's ex boyfriend on the other hand. Not for anything he did to me (though I'm learning through my T how serious those things were and am mortified), but if I ever saw him again I'd probably kill him for what he did to my sister. Hate.

before i feel angry at them....i have to feel that i was and am worth being angry for...

I am angry, cold, flat, numb, sick, confused, dirty, unhappy, longing, pining, disgusted, falling, miserable, loathing. Sometimes i hate him.

I can totally understand your feelings.
I feel the same way.

I'm not really angry at my abuser, if I'm angry at anyone, it's myself.

It's harmful to hold on to anger. However, your T might think since you are not angry, you are not in touch with your true feelings. That may or may not be true.

And for those who direct their anger toward themselves, you were a victim. If someone gets robbed or shot do you blame the victim? You might feel regret, beat yourself up for letting yourself be in a situation where it could happen, but you surely didn't ask to be a victim.

Be kind to yourself. Don't be harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else.

I didn't know I was angry at my abusers, for a long long time. One day in Therapy, I was drawing as I talked (I do this a lot). Then I got very very quiet, and started making red lines over and over on the paper. When my T asked what I was drawing I handed it to her. After a short silence I said "It's anger". She handed it back and I ripped it up, folded an envelope and stuffed the pieces in the envelope. Since then, the anger will come occasionally. It always surprises me, but it feels good to express it sometimes.

I don't feel angry towards them but I feel constantly angry towards my T, which is probably meant for them.