[monkeybrains21]

WARNING TRIGGERING!!!!

I've posted about this in dreams but no one has answered. I feel I might get a response here since I'm really confused frustrated and freaking out. My father was an abusive alcoholic who a few yrs ago was arrested and now is a registered offender. T Pdoc and others have asked if he ever did anything to me and I just don't know. I remember beatings but most of my memories are blanks. I had a dream last night and he was touching me. This has never happened before. T and Pdoc I'm sure think it's highly likely since most of my childhood was he and I alone.

My wife says when she was in therapy this was how her memories of it all started coming back. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle so well. I'm really confused. Thoughts?

[swirlofthecurl]

Sometimes people mistake their imagination for their memory.
To be honest, no one knows. Not even you... I suggest you dip deeper and try to connect a few pieces... But even if it turns out to be true you should not let it affect you as a person. Always move forward. Don't let this consume you...

[RedSun]

I have this also, that I have had thoughts recently, after talking about stuff in therapy, and I'm not sure if they are memories or just imagination.
My t says listen to your body, it never lies. So if you have a somatic, body response (maybe shaking, going cold, feeling sick, pain etc) that is your body's memory.
Yes, I am finding that I have more of these thoughts the more therapy I have. It is destabilising, and I sometimes find I am wobbly for a few days after a session. I guess in the long run it takes the power away from those thoughts and feelings and leaves us less vulnerable to them, which is good, but in the short term it is hard work!
Xxxx

[monkeybrains21]

So my feeling sick and I can't really explain the feeling other than I want my legs to be as tight together as possible is very possibly a memory response to something?

[RedSun]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

So my feeling sick and I can't really explain the feeling other than I want my legs to be as tight together as possible is very possibly a memory response to something?

Yes it's certainly possible. There's a great book about this, called 'the body remembers' by Babette Rothschild, might be useful? My t says if you can just sit with that somatic feeling (which is sometimes too difficult ) then it can help you to understand your responses better. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. if you want them!

[ThisWayOut]

I've got something similar going on right now also. I'm sorry you are struggling with this...
I've found sitting through it (as Red75 mentioned) leads to some more cognitive "memories" (not just physical sensations) coming up... but I struggle to figure out if they are real or not.
The thing my T's have mentioned lately though, is to deal more with the emotions it all brings up, and not focus so heavily on figuring out if it's real or not. Since memories can be inaccurate, unless there's someone to corroborate the memoriy or evidence somewhere that it is true, it may just be our way of making sense of things we don't necessarily understand... It's really difficult to do though (I really want to know if mine are true, but there's no one to ask).
I hope you can find some peace with it all.
<3

[monkeybrains21]

I feel it when I sit, drive, lay down and walk I feel it all the time. I feel others watching me. I feel uncomfortable in public. I went out today to a small store I couldn't stand the few men or women around me. I feel panicky. I've always been outgoing and pretty care free but feel overwhelmed by simply going to the store.