[babs92]

I am having such a bad time of late with my marriage and its all come to a head now. I am 40 and I thought I had dealt with issues with my mother's emotional abuse, but I know deep down I still crave her love and affection. I have been crying alot, crying for my lost childhood, crying that I felt numb when I was growing up and I knew that was the only way to survive subconsciously. I rang a crisis line today and she was the most wonderful, kind person and I told her so. She said one thing at the end of the call "being strong means reaching out for help". My husband wants our marriage to go on without counselling, he thinks we can ride this through but am going to tell him what she said to me and hope that he can understand.

He has been my rock, but we also have a disabled son and I have bipolar and for the last 10 years I have been battling this illness and demons from my past. I want to heal now, I want us both to start healing and nurturing our relationship because for so long it has all been about my mother and the abuse and about our son. Its time to move on.........

Thanks for listening

babs i'm so glad you are ready to move on....

me too. i also crave something i will never get from my mum, unconditional love. i too was emotionally abused by her, and abuse by someone she had an affair with. i have struggled so much. you are right, being strong does mean reaching out. that is why we are all here. be strong, pm me anytime

jinnyann xxxxx

[babs92]

I forgot to add something pretty important........what goes around comes around..........

My 13 yr old neice has been suffering abuse by her mother and boyfriend for several years and now lives with my mother. This freaked me out BIG TIME!!! I was beside myself with worry, still am to a degree, and it took me quite a while to try and back off from the situation.

Neice is getting abuse counselling (finally!) and my mother and her dad (my brother) too. Brother suffers with depression (issues with my mother) and could not cope with his daughter so moved out a few weeks back, but I am certain one day he will find the strength to support his daughter and get her to live with him when she gets to a healing place.

So, my mother is getting all this help now with parenting skills for my neice........she missed the boat with me.

[babs92]

Thanks jinnyann, good to hear from you. So sorry you had the same thing happening too with your mum. Be strong too and take care

xxx