[Ad Intra]

I'm so afraid I'll be like my abuser (my step mom; it was mental and verbal abuse). I would kill myself if I thought I was truly was like her and I feel like I'm starting to become a bad person.

[CANDC]

Hi Ad Intra. We are all complex beings conditioned by circumstances all around us. We are caught in the webs of the past and we can get out. It takes determination and the will to try to reach out to others especially those that need help.
You know you can PM me or any other Community Liason, and for a quicker response make sure they are online.

There are many resources here to help you and it is your choice to reach out and accept the resources that are here for you. Others go through what you are going through. That is why the forums are here so we can help each other get through the darkness that surrounds us sometimes.

[Ad Intra]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi Ad Intra. We are all complex beings conditioned by circumstances all around us. We are caught in the webs of the past and we can get out. It takes determination and the will to try to reach out to others especially those that need help.
You know you can PM me or any other Community Liason, and for a quicker response make sure they are online.

There are many resources here to help you and it is your choice to reach out and accept the resources that are here for you. Others go through what you are going through. That is why the forums are here so we can help each other get through the darkness that surrounds us sometimes.

Thank you. I have been considering therapy. I just saw something on the internet was triggered.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Ad Intra

Thank you. I have been considering therapy. I just saw something on the internet was triggered.

Ad Intra, glad you were only reacting to a trigger. That can happen on the internet.

Sometimes our posts also can trigger others so I try to avoid words that might upset someone else. That might be a trigger for someone in a dark place. So I am careful what I say and how I say it so I don't hurt anyone else.

You are really trying to get out of these moods. Congratulations for not getting trapped in them.

[nicoleflynn]

I grew up with an abusive mother and made a vow to never be like her....I broke that cycle....all of our behavior is a choice. Hugs

[doyoutrustme]

Originally Posted by Ad Intra

I'm so afraid I'll be like my abuser (my step mom; it was mental and verbal abuse). I would kill myself if I thought I was truly was like her and I feel like I'm starting to become a bad person.

Being aware of it is half of it. The other half is to educate yourself. Read and get a good therapist. It's painful, but you need to face all the crap inside of you to ensure that history cannot repeat itself.

[BLUEDOVE]

I agree with 'doyou', read like hell and reeducate
dear self. Think of it like this: Your bad past is like
a 'mental furrow' in field of your mind,so the new
information you study and absorb will be like digging another NEW furrow, the soil from which,
you use to fill over the OLD furrow.
God Bless,
BLUEDOVE