What did you need to make yourself feel safe when you were being abused?

I am taking care of my friends 6 year old daughter for a while. Her and her ex husband are divorced and she recently discovered that anytime she's been at his houses she's been sexually abused by his friends. It hit her very hard and she is going to get help for depression, before living with her daughter again because she doesn't want the environment to be unstable.

I guess what I'm asking is what does she need the most from me?

Just be there to be supportive & to listen. In one of Parker J. Palmer's books: Let Your Life Speak he recalls his own battle with major depression. He wrote no one could get through to him except one neighbor. This neighbor would come over every day or so. He would take Parker's shoes & socks off & rub his feet. Parker said this neighbor had found the one and only place Parker had left where he could still feel. The neighbor didn't say much other than to perhaps comment on how Parker seemed to be doing that day.

consistency, support, and safety

Sometimes children who have experienced csa have not been given the opportunity to say 'no' and be heard. It can be so confusing and disempowering. I would create situations (nice ones!) where she can and will say no, and encourage her that you have heard her say no and you respect her decision and that she doesn't have to do it, whatever it is (walking the dog always seems to get a resounding no from my kids )

I needed a lot of quiet, alone time when I was a kid (still do).

She passed away of heart complications.

you loved her when you had her....that is what she needed the most!

i used imaginary worlds.

let her be creative. story writing. drawing, painting, crayons, mood boards. this is absolutely the most helpful thing you can do to help her heal as well as showing her love and support.

let her tell her story through art. and most of all, let her play. cuddly toys - make up little worlds and characters; read her stories at night.

Wait... The little girl passed away?

OMG. Are you OK? How about her mom?

Yes. She fainted and never was able to be recesitated.

Are you doing OK? That must be very difficult for you.