Do some people just need to be abused at times?

I understand that is what you had or have in your life I just don't know if you understand how unhealthy it is. There is no paternal daddy dynamics in healthy relationship with male partner. Looking for daddy in sexual partners is unhealthy. One doesn't need that. It is unfortunate one has it

You can have attention and affection and protection from men without them being "daddies".

I think people all says the same thing to you because many of us endured abuse, we wished we didn't have it in our lives. It triggers something to think that Someone believes they actually needed it fir whatever reason. I was verbally and emotionally abused and no freaking way I needed that Shyt in my life none of us do

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This. Re-living abusive relationships from the past is a curse, not a benefit, it's like aftershocks.

Yup

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I don't agree, I believe there are many paths to the lessons we learn, but that comes down to personal belief and I won't force mine on you. But I do wonder, is it possible that part of the reason you seem to feel that you needed to go through that abuse is because you're trying to find a way to explain why it happened, and justify your own actions instead of accepting them without passing judgement on yourself? But I could also be off base here.

What matters is it's over, you aren't in those situations, you're looking toward better relationships where you won't be abused. I know what it's like to learn stuff the hard way. Just take care of yourself, okay?

i don't think abuse is ever 'needed'. i agree that it Fs you up.

Sounds like unmet emotional needs from childhood. This is the sort of thing that causes emotional abuse in the first place. People whose parents failed to meet their childhood emotional needs grow up and end up using other people to try to get those needs met. They're attempting to get needs met from the wrong sources because the proper sources screwed up. Those needs don't go away just because they were unmet.

A true father figure is supposed to set an example for a daughter of a man who is capable of being responsible and providing as well as understanding how to respect the mother. But, also having the capacity to be loving to the children and give them encouragement to grow and have good self esteem. He is supposed to provide a "safe" environment for his wife and children as well.

Your exposure was basically learning how to accept abuse, even sexually. That is not anything one would really want to have as a life partner or father to their children.

Excellent post

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