I need help!

The only people I've told this to are my parents and my therapist....
When I was eight years old, I was sexually assaulted by a stranger at school.
Between the ages of eleven and thirteen, I was in a platonic abusive relationship with someone who was supposed to be my best friend. I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. I just wanted to get it all off my chest.
What I'm asking for is help with ways to cope.
I have night terrors almost every night, flashbacks, and severe depression. I need help and I feel as if every day, I'm just getting worse.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I know for sure I have PTSD nut I just don't know how to tell my pdoc.
Please help me, I begging.
I don't know how much longer I can live with the constant pain and feeling of worthlessness.

You really need to discuss this with your pdoc as soon as possible. It is very important that you get his help in trying to deal with this. If he doesn't know there is a problem he can't help you and it will get worse quickly so please talk to him. It's what he is there for.

Okay, I'll try.
It just took so much out of my to tell my mom and I don't know if I'll be able to handle saying it all again.
I don't know if I'm strong enough.

I agree with this post. I was afraid to tell my pdoc about my past experiences/relationships, but once I did I felt SO relieved. It was so nice to say what happened out loud (at that point I hadn't told anyone). I think in a lot of ways it at least gives you some sort of closure, or at least I felt that way. It's still an ongoing struggle for me to deal, but that was a huge part of the beginning of my recovery and dealing with those emotions.

Thanks to both of you. I will definitely try my best to tell her. (I have an appt tomorrow).
I honestly hope I'm able to because I really want to kick PTSD in the butt! I freakin hate it!

((ladisputelover)),

Yes, I would say you are expressing the symptoms of PTSD. It is good that you told, but you need to be helped by a therapist who knows how to treat PTSD. You can work through these emotional challenges and depressive feelings as well as these feelings of worthlessness and shame. You can get so you feel better and sleep better and actually "heal" as you work through this with a therapist who understands and treats patients with PTSD.

So, while it is scarey to tell your Pdoc, it's the right thing to do so you can get to the next step of working with a therapist that knows how to help you feel safe so you can talk about how you are challenged and work on healing.

Please let us know how you make out. Perhaps you can just copy your post and bring that if it is too hard for you to say, a lot of people do that.

((Gentle Caring Supportive Hugs))
OE

Hi

I've been going through what you have for the last 3.5 years. I have complex PTSD which is related to multiple childhood traumas. Due to having so many traumas it is taking a long time to work through all this. Seek therapy but also remember that it will take time and you won't be cured over night. From speaking to my T and research I have done, it seems that you have to go through the painful feelings in order to recover. Your mind and body only reveals the truth to you when you are ready to handle it. I hope this helps.

Peace

PH