Memories

Hi

I went through physical and psychological abuse from 14yrs to 18yrs at the hands of an older man. I am now just 34. It has been a very long time since I dreamt about him or thought of the things he did to me. Well I had a dream about him last night and today so far I can't help but think of all the terrifying things he did to me. I feel rattled and very anxious over it all.

Will these memories come back and haunt me for the rest of my life? Does this mean I am not over it?

i'm so sorry you had to go through that. it's totally understandable and normal to feel anxious and rattled.

to tell you the truth, you will always have the memories. nothing - nothing - will take them away. but you will be able to cope with them and process them, with the right support and treatment.

it's not a question of just 'getting over it' when you have been abused, especially for such a long time. it's a long, painful but very important healing process, and eventually things WILL get better and you will find it easier.

are you seeing a therapist? that might be very helpful to you.

Hi

Thanks. I guess after having a long period of not thinking about it, it kinda caught me off guard. I started seeing a therapist 5 years ago...but that didn't end too well..that in itself is a story that is also painful. Because he stepped over the line with me, I haven't been able to trust another t...so I am not in treatment. I think I am slowly coming round to seeing a female t but I am still not over what happened with previous T. It is all such a mess.

When these thoughts come in I usually go into a deep depression. I really can't afford to go into a deep depression. I have just been promoted to manager in the agency I work and start training end of April. If I become depressed, I may not be fit for it. I hate it that he can still hurt me. I know it is me hurting me now but I still feel as though he is doing it to me. If that makes sense?

Thanks for your reply.