[theeuropeandude]

Hello people, Recently i have opened up to my mother about the situation at home with dad, My Dad has always tried to tell me that my life was perfect and i was brainwashed and thought everything was normal but have recently realized that it wasn´t.
My mom and dad got divorced when i was 7 followed by two years of loud fighting, things breaking and running away with mom several times.
Dad was a very troubled person, he worked ALOT almost 24/7 and was depressed although he never admitted it, he used to snap on small things all the time and keep me and my brothers in hourlong interregations, he used to get

Possible trigger:

physical and push us against walls, shake us hard, sometimes hit us, destroy things in the appartment, hit the table really hard, scream, call us things only bullies would say and pay little attention to us, threaten to kill himself, say that he didn´t want us, that he wished we were never born, he used to get drunk sometimes, dissapear in the middle of the night, sometimes be gone until early in the morning.

The appartment we lived in was very small and filled with junk, dust and was in very bad shape, smelling like death, it was broken, dirty etc and me and my brother shared a very tiny room with no windows that was right next to an airvent connected to the balcony where dad smoked 2 packs a day, our room was wall to wall with dads' and he used to bring home

Possible trigger:

girls and have sex with them,

keeping us up until the middle of the night. I have also seen him hit his ex and i have seen emails from her acusing him of

Possible trigger:

rape and assault

and an email where he confessed.
My brother started doing

Possible trigger:

drugs and started dealing, i started drinking and doing drugs

and failed school.
My mom was always trying her hardest with a lowpayed job but had her own issues and was usually very sad, walking around crying at night, so she never noticed what was going on there.
Apart from that i had a bad time in school, i was bullied form time to time and

Possible trigger:

got hit alot

because i was small, scared, insecure as hell and didn´t have nice things, i also only had one friend who was very flaky and used to abandon me.
I know this might not sound like much and probably people might say that i shouldn´t complain but i want your opinion.
I hope someone will answer this, god bless you all.

[Ruftin]

(((TUD))) You've been down a tough road for sure. I'm sorry for all your suffering. Divorce is always roughest on the children. I wish parents would be mindful of this. It took me a long time to realize my parents weren't perfect but not before the damage to my brain was already done. Now I focus my life on not repeating their cycle.

[kaliope]

hi theeuropeandude
i am not certain what you are wanting an answer to as you did not clarify a question. if it is validation that you grew up in a dysfunctional environment then yes, that is certainly so. it doesnt border on healthy at all.welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[healingme4me]

Welcome to PC

Does seem like your mom's depression got in the way of the point of divorce from an abusive man...

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[Dog on a Tree]

I'm sorry about what you have been through. You need good things and positivity in your life. That will only happen, by you doing and pursuing positive things in life.
I hope by posting about it, it will help you? Also your not being a cry baby, etc. You have every right to be upset, etc.

[Titilia]

I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. I hope that you can find comfort and get any help that you might need. I can relate to some of what you have been through.