[PrairieCat]

Hi my friends... I decided to post about my troubles, have been resisting it but must do so now... I am wearing an ankle brace due to arch collapse (it's been about 3 mos. now but it's getting better), also wearing an ace bandage on painful strained arm, taking a med from my gyn, getting dental work done and also must have a cancer specialist check me. I do not have cancer, but "maybe a possibility of pre-cancerous condition." Sounds so absurd, but it's all true!

Oh, also my daughter will not communicate with me right now due to problems with her son, in drug rehab. I am still reeling from the realization that I am a survivor of emotional neglect and emotional abuse from my mother and same from Extreme Workaholic Parents and I am very old for this to occur. I feel that I was murdered by those actions and inactions of my parents. I am not that person anymore, still must find who I am today. Better late than never, though, right? I had a fight with neighbor gal today, as well - she is brain-injured and does not understand anything. I just needed to set boundaries. I have had to put a "Private Property - No Trespassing" sign on my porch because of her. I have compassion for her but not to the extent that I don't protect myself from her craziness. She does not understand privacy or boundaries and is horribly intrusive.

I am not sleeping well at all due to my inactivity. Whenever I lie down, I am having small panic attacks due to the neglect and abuse realization, also the fear that my daughter may be gone forever and I will die alone and rejected. Breathing exercises help a bit, but these attacks still come.

Good Stuff: I went and got a good haircut yesterday. I hired a house cleaner who came today. I am getting caught up on letting my house go for many months. I actually washed many dishes, pots & pans, etc. this evening. I have a new therapist who does EMDR and I hope to process my neglect and abuse realizations with her and leave them in the dust! I have a new friend where I live and she is really a fun friend, also has a beautiful pug puppy and they will visit tomorrow. I am not out of HOPE. I will have eggs and bacon and toast for dinner: comfort food! Thanks mucho for listening/reading.

[Dog on a Tree]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. I hope by talking/writing about it, it will help in some way. Also it's great that you still have hope. Please do not give up on yourself. You have this forum and it's member to support you.
Try to focus on the positives because the negatives can be self destructive.

Best of luck!

[ThingWithFeathers]

I like your E. Dickinson quote