[Leisel]

Hi, this may seem odd but I'm not sure if I was sexually abused when I was young or not. I used to stay late at my caregivers house because my mom was a teacher and was always later than the other parents. My caregivers husband would come home and we would watch t.v. alone together downstairs. I have only one image of him in my mind, watching t.v. totally innocent. My mom passed away when I was in 3rd grade and I lost almost all of my memory prior to that time. My dad has asked me many times if anything ever happened with that man and I don't know. Though I don't have any bad memories of him, I have always been afraid of men that were his build or who have similar features. I used to be terrified of being intimate because I felt like whoever I was with could over power me and not let me say no. I don't know if all of these things are unrelated but I also feel many feelings that survivors of abuse share. Sometimes I do feel like it truly happened even though I don't have the clear memory.. What do you think?

[RACEKA]

It could have happened. Do you have a therapist? If you don't get one and talk it out.

I don't remember much before 11.

Thats hard. No one can tell us though what happened . Sometimes time causes us to know what we didnt know before. Sometimes working on the feelings and emotions rather than the actual memory is productive too. I've been in your shoes. Best of luck.