[JosephR]

So yesterday my parents, Both of them pestered me about not being married yet. And they won't grasp my reasons no matter how I try to explain them, But first a little background

Now my sister is on the NPD side of life and I have always been one of her slander targets, According to her the brother in her imagination has been everything from a drug user/dealer, rapist, child rapist, vagrant, wife beater (note the first sentence of the post above) Parent beater, psych patent, infected with a few std's, an under-aged gay male ***** (You have no idea how fun she made school), cat burglar, and an auto accident homicide professional. Well, you get the idea.

Now I am not the only one she targets, And she is no stranger to calling the police with me as an imagined attacker for any of the above. Or contacting my current employer/school and pretending to be my wife, payroll officer, drug dealer or bill collector... (BTW voice mail is a good thing)

Now, I've already been in the situation where I have had to explain to a girlfriend my sisters actions, And even if they believe you well...Lets be real who here would not run from a potential in-law like that? But well. Here is the crux of the issue. In the past 30 years of her drama I do not think my parents have ever once not ether out and out supported her. Or remained neutral and provided passive tacit support. Hell one day she took my car, Drove to the airport and left it parked in two handicap spaces, And my parents were enraged when I voiced that I felt that was uncalled for.

A few years later she called the police saying that her brother had just kill her, And the only thing that saved my *** was that The police questioned me at my apartment with in a few minutes of her call, And I had lived 3 hours away at that point in time.

Well, I feel better for typing this, I know what she would say If I ever had kids so that is one thing I avoid for in part for that reason.

[CopperStar]

Your sister doesn't sound like a narcissist to me, although your parents do as far as the whole golden child and scapegoat child thing goes.

Your sister sounds like she is either paranoid to the point of psychosis (delusion), or like she is a full-blown sociopath. One or the other.

She should have been legally charged for stealing your vehicle.
She should have been legally charged for falsely claiming to the police that you murdered someone.

Things like this are grounds for legal action, which frankly you should be taking when they occur.

Narcissists are no fun, but this sort of behavior is not standard for them. They tend to be high-functioning in terms of not getting in trouble with law enforcement, if all they have is NPD.

Your sister needs help if she is suffering from psychosis and extreme reckless behavior like stealing someone's vehicle.

Or she needs to be charged for committing crimes if she is refusing help and seems to be able to function very well (college, job, etc) which would indicate more of an AsPD thing.

In either case you should be reporting your concerns to the police when that sort of thing happens.

Narcissists are obnoxious due to their sheer level of denial and their manipulation ********, and can be mentally/emotionally abusive if you stick around them, but the behaviors you describe go beyond NPD. Your sister could be dangerous to herself and/or others.

[JosephR]

My whole family, Minus my brother is bad and toxic, She told me she was diagnosed npd once when the navy made her get tested (And I still do not know what prompted the made to get tested part of that)
Maybe she is, maybe she is not, She does have the grandiose self image of a npd but who knows.

I do know she responds to other peoples personal advancements as if it was an assault on her life, And I am serous on that, This is not exaggeration I mean if one of her co-workers would get an award she would go ballistic And if she was in a position to write them up she would. At my pass and review in boot camp she came up with my parents, and the loathing and contempt from her was unrelenting,

When I went back to school, Every day she would harass my parents and all my other relations, friends non stop in efforts to get me to chew up my time to "help" her.

When I got a job as a federal employee, She worked her way into being employed at the credit union just outside of the gate. Turned my career into middle school agian after that,

But for as overt as she is about it, I think my parents are worse. But reporting her to the police don't work, She calls in the parents to witness and then all of a sudden it is no longer her taking my pick up truck to the airport, The parents will tell the cops that I did it ( although in all fairness I do think my parents are scared shitless about her)

I'm not sure what she is, And I would love to see what her test results would come back as, Although I do know she is a hateful spiteful, vindictive and highly obsessive and unrelenting stalker, But she is one of those people with a charisma that just puts people at ease. Hell I think it was 2008 we were helping her move (and she is a horrid slob) And I saw a phone number that I knew when I was putting papers into a box, and Its one thing to see those behaviors in the heat of the moment. But I found a stack of phone bills and my brother and I sat speechless for an hour looking at them, She was very literally cold calling every one my brother and I knew. Now keep in mind, I was enlisted, And enlisted in the days before face book, So you did not give someone your phone number then, You gave them your parents phone number if you wanted to keep contact. But I was looking at those bills and it looked like she had cold called every one in the right states with matching surnames of my friends. I'm not even sure there is one thing that is or how co-morbid she is.

But as overt and carcinogenic as she is to someones life. I think my parents are worse.

[Eeno]

I am so sorry you had/have to go through this. I kinda sounds like your parents are doing the 'sweeping under the rug' act with guilt trip tactics.

Having children should really be between you and your spouse. even if you did not have a toxic family, having kids is still a personal choice. In some cases parents are never going to understand and its a matter of finding support groups and not falling to their pressure.