[mtd]

What follows here can be really triggering, so please take care of yourself. If you cannot read further, I understand and respect that. But, I have to speak my truth, so here goes.

As a young child, I was bound to a stair case by two neighbors. They took turns raping me. They used screaming, beating, a knife and a gun to threaten me and gain my silence. And that was just the first time that horrific summer. Their threats worked and I remained silent.

I am an adult now. I have been in therapy for this for years, both in patient and out patient. I know that am lucky to be alive. Not only could those who attacked me have lost all control and killed me, what they left with me was just as dangerous. In my grief, fear and terror in the aftermath of their crimes, I have been exhausted by my struggle to recover. I have prepared to take my life twice and survived heart failure from PTSD stress on a third occasion. For years, I really wanted to die. For years, I was so detached from life and so terrorized, I felt like I already was dead. It has been and remains a stuggle. But I have come to believe that I am worth that struggle and today I am stronger than ever. Indeed, I have paid one incredible price for my neighbors' brutal inhumanity.

And they have never been brought to justice.

But today, I decided to report their crimes to the police. Even if the police do not or feel they can not act in my case, at least they will know who to watch when trying to keep children today safe.

It is time. I do not have to be afraid of them any longer.

Thank you for being here.

mtd

[AmatureBombTech]

Thank You for sharing and for having the strength to protect society from those that hurt you in the past.

You are doing the right thing.

Good luck Hun.

ABT

[silentlyscreaming]

Thanks so much for your post. It is so empowering.
I didn't have the guts to report the guy who attacked me and I am kinda doubtful that I ever will, but reading your story has given me a little strength to try and fight my own demons. I've decided to take the first step and tell someone close to me what happened.
Thank you for sharing and for being strong, and helping to keep sexual predators off our streets. We can't change what happened to us, but we can try to stop it happening to someone else.
More power to you girl!!!!!!!

oh.. my thoughts are with you wishing you comfort and peace. I'm so sorry that something so horrible happened to you. I am glad you are taking steps to recovery and respecting you! a Very strong act.

ev

[tranquility]

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes alot of courage to do what you are going to do and I wish you all the strength to get this accomplished. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I applaud you for pursuing.

Tranquility

I am at a loss for words for your extreme bravery.. you are one special person...

[ChrisM]

You are very brave~~ I think you have great inner strength! I can understand what you have been through~ it is a hard road but, you can get through it~ many blessings Chris

[ally88]

wow, you are so strong and courageous. it makes me speechless, what you said. I am so sorry about what happened to you in the past, but im so proud that you decided to step up and do something, i mean i know some people that are too worried to step up and tell about things that happened to them. Good for you!! I hope the police can punish these people for who they truly are! I think you have finally gotten to the end of that long hard road that lots of us are waiting for. I wish you the very best in all that you do in the future and Good Luck!!

[enigmatic]

Best of luck to you <3 I am soo proud of you for speaking up. Having yet to do that myself, it is inspiring to say the least. I wish you the best with it all and that justice be served in some form

((((mtd))))

thank you for your post. i see in you a strength that i wish i could find. know you are in my thoughts and prayers. take care of you and know you have support and friends here.

purplesecrets

[sabby]

((((((((((( mtd ))))))))))))

The step you have taken is so vital to some in their quest for healing. I know that not everyone can do what you are doing. It's such an individual thing.

I pray that you will find the peace you so deserve now. There certainly may be some more difficulties down the road, but the road you are on will take you where you need to go.

I wish you all the best and send you strength and peace.

*Gentle Hugs*
J