[silentlyscreaming]

I'd just like to throw a question out there and see what ppl think........
Is it just me or does anyone else find that a lot of support out there is only designed for survivors of child abuse? I was abused in my 20's and have found very limited resources.
I've also come face to face with a very guilt inducing response of..."at least you were old enough to fight back....." which, to say the least, can be very disconcerting.

I'm just interested in what opinions and experiences other people have regarding this.
Cheers.

Well, I think adults that are abused/raped seek out help from Rape trauma centres etc, but children can't do that and they tend to grow up with having no memory of a trauma free self, so their issues are slightly more complex.

All abuse is traumatic. Where have you sought help?

im so sorry ((((((((((silently)))))))))))))))))))

I agree!! That would be very hard to hear if it were me. I hate that people don't take abuse seriously despite the age. I hope you have found some support.

[AmatureBombTech]

Not really. I haven't had any problems at all finding singular, group, inperson or online therapies and self-help groups for my adult abuse sufferage. It's the childhood ones that I have heard that people have problems finding because generally by the time the abusees are adults, if they have gone without therapies, they are hard to treat and therefore group therapies become very hard to get into because they are always full with long time members. Keep looking hun...they are out there.

[mtd]

Silentlyscreaming,

I don't know what resources are in your area for adult abuse survivors. Hopefully, if you keep looking, you will find the help you need close to home. One thing is, unfortunately, certain. No matter where you are, you are not alone. If you need to connect with other adult abuse survivors for in-person meetings, you can be sure that there are others feeling the same way. Perhaps you can find a confidential meeting place, and post notices in local papers or web sites, and give notices to local social service agencies, to let people know you will be there to start a group. Sometimes local therapists can help with this too. Police departments also sometimes have a crime victim resource officer to help with this type of contact.

As for the "guilt" response you have gotten from some, I am really sorry to hear that. You deserved better. Abuse at any age is wrong, painful and debilitating. It is hard to fight back even as an adult because abusers of anyone take advantage of the power they have. Your need to recover as an adult is real to you and you should not have to apologize for that. While children may be particularly vulnerable and usually have a harder time finding help quickly, as well as needing specialized support as we carry our recovery into adulthood, that does not change or minimize your experience or your needs as an adult survivor.

I'm truly sorry you have had this experience on top of your trauma. You have my support. I wish you well.

mtd

[RiverX]

Just a book recommendation: Patricia Evans: 'the verbally abusive relationship', and 'controlling people', these sort of explain and breakdown the anatomy of abusive relationshps and what to do about it. For me it was good both for retrospect, and for future.

Good luck, River

[(JD)]

I hadn't noticed an absence of support information as you say, but that doesn't mean what you say isn't true. I do think that for "adults" any abuse can often be dealt with through the victim's funding and resources.

I do think that people are less understanding of trauma with adults though, yes. And their saying anything like you were old enough or big enough to fight back just shows their ignorance about such matters. If you're being victimized, the trauma reactions are often the same.

I'm sorry you are having difficulty. How can we help you here, can you offer suggestions?

(((safe hug)))

[ally88]

im sorry! i do agree though. lots of it is geared towards children. most of the abuse happens with children, but there are lots that arent involving children. so i wish you luck and hope you find some help! ((((((((((silentlyscreaming)))))))))))

[silentlyscreaming]

Thanks everyone for responding and for your kind words.
I'm already in therapy for borderline personality disorder, but everytime I broach the subject of what happened to me, she quickly dismisses it. But....I think I may have found somebody who can help me, even better, her services are free of charge!! Now, I just have to get the balls to call up and make that dreaded first appointment. Ill keep you guys posted.