[Catholicnun]

hi i just got out of a codependent relationship (friendship / platonic)
and to sum it up it was very emotionally abusive

the guy has antisocial traits (not diagnosing him with apd but he has every trait like....) and hes really good at looking like an innocent nice guy

hes charming every1 loves him etc etc

when he ended the friendship i posted about him (kept his name private) on my blog
and he threatened to call a lawyer on me
and he guilt tripped me and everything

if u google psychological manipulation tactics he literally uses ALL of them on me
and hes just so horrible and the worst part is that all my friends like him and nobody defends me and i feel so alone

like i overdosed because of him and he kept telling me to shut up when i was feeling like i was losing my sense of life and everything it was so horrible im not gonna go into details but

i dont know what to do he literally stalks my blog 24/7 (i have statcounter which tells me how many times he visits) (he visits A LOT)
like he monitors everything i do
and that;'s stalking and he is trying to intimidate me

and i am not the type to hold things inside i NEED to talk about them
ive been apologizing and feeling guilty all this time when it was not my fault

he is literally an rich privileged egocentric cis white male

like it sounds like its not a big deal as im typing this but im not going into details so i dont bore anyone or go off topic

ever since he ended the friendship i just remember everything bad he did and he minimizes it
and ive been getting panic/anxiety attacks whenever i see his name anywhere i get triggered so easily (im having bad chest pain right now from my panic attack earlier) and im dissociating / depersonalizing /derealizing a lot
like
i think i actually relapsed into my depression again
i feel so horrible
i cant leave the house im just so tired i feel horrible

also i remembered some traumatizing memories from when i was a child so that is just great@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CopperStar]

Try not to fight fire with fire - you don't want to become that which you despise.

Please never blame someone else for your choice to attempt suicide.
And try not to focus on his race, gender, sexual orientation, income or anything that has nothing to do with the quality of his character.

I'm not saying these things to shame you, but trying to bring to your awareness that evil can be highly contagious, and you want to make sure to keep it off of you. It can be a very sneaky and insidious thing, feeding on your pain over time.

That said:

Your best bet is to completely ignore him. Go "No Contact" (can google that for tons of good resources if you're interested), and do not engage, do not react. Completely ignore him. Emotionally sadistic types, emotional vampires, narcissists after "supply" - whatever - just want a reaction. If they realize you are a dry well in that regard, eventually they move on.

If his threats ever escalate to the point of implied violence or worse, call the police and report it immediately.

[CopperStar]

Also, actual friends do not form weird-*** secret alliances behind your back, or revel in gossip and drama. So it might also be worth it to consider taking out the trash and getting some new 'friends'.

[Sevensong]

Catholicnun, I'm very sorry for what you're going through. I think everything you said is valid, including his race, gender, and other details. It's relevant to understanding where anybody's coming from, and hardly statistically irrelevant when it comes to stalking, sociopathy, abuse, etc. A lot of people have been driven to suicidal thoughts by hopeless situations, and that can certainly include abuse. Please seek some real-life help for this if you begin to fear it's an imminent danger. You've had your heart put in a blender, as the song lyric goes. It's natural to feel horrible. The point is to do something to heal and get out of this rut. Is it possible to see a counselor? If you're Catholic, can you see a priest or pastoral counselor? I'm Catholic, too, and this sort of counseling is usually available and can often be a big help after an ordeal like the one you describe.

I hope this isn't off-topic, but I'm curious about your username, too. I assume you aren't really a religious sister. Were you thinking about becoming one? Or am I missing some sort of sarcasm in your choice? :-)