Violence

Is answering violence ( with less violence or same type of violence back )with violence an abusive person?

I want to know if someone can snap if being a target of bullying, violence against his dog etc, and still not be abusive?

Technically violence is generally a criminal offence, at least in the UK. A criminal record will get you fired, be ineligible for many jobs, cause difficulties with insurance and so on.

There are extenuating circumstances, self-defence for example, but in the UK the law requires proportionality. However violence is usually a sign of someone who lacks control, humanity, a sense of proportion, reflects poorly on character and is not to be undertaken lightly. Habitual violence is of course abusive.

If someone harms your dog a reasonable and responsible adult would report the matter to the police rather than go for freelance reprisals.

Thank you for your reply, ManOfConstantSorrow,

it is criminal to be violent here too. I was asking my question because the two three episodes I heard him do ( he told me it himself ), made me wonder if he had a reasonbable reason to snap and react the way he did. I would say to that a man of character would report it to the police instead of answering with violence. Its just that the two three episodes sounded quite reasonable. In the first incident he had just found his girlfriend dead in their bed ( her heart had stopped ) , and one pedofile was bullying him standing outside his home. I know that this pedofile has a dog. A mdeium/big size dog. I was thinking no wonder he ran after that pedofile ( and killer I have heard ) and snapped. But maybe theres no reason to snap at all?

Second incident, a stranger hit this mans little cute dog in the face out of the blue on the street, so he hit the stranger back same way, to make a point. He said at one of these incidents that if he see those dogs again he will kill him ( the pedofile ). There were some blood on this man shirt when running after this pedofile and after putting him down to the ground, putting his one foot on top of his chest to threaten the pedofile to not come back.

Does all this make anything reasonable? Does this mean he is abusive?

It is understandable that in moments of stress he might react strongly.

If a person does illegal things, a paedophile for example, it is forbidden to take the law into your own hands. It is police matter no matter how angry you are.

If he is being habitually bullied the correct way to deal with this is to make an official complaint, gather evidence and consider legal action to get a restraining order.

If someone attacks you or your property you may well say they have a retaliation coming, and so they do, but it must be proportional. To punch the offender might be proportional in the heat of the moment (a court might give you a discharge perhaps a conditional discharge), but running after them and threatening to kill them would be disproportionate and leave them open to serious charges. That could be construed as abuse.

Thank you so much, Man,

I was just thinking that threatening to kill someone is an abusive statement. I also think the same as you say that a person can be reacting very strongly under extreme stress. The paedophile was only roaring outside his window that day he lost his girlfriend. Both this paedophile and another paedophile has tried contact children outside here, its a small area with many people living around. But that day the one paedophile was only roaring outside his window. I dont know why. I dont know why this man, who is my neigboor, has not gone to the police or anything. Maybe this man has some control/abusive traits that makes him avoid the police and take matters in own hands since the paedophile was only roaring. My neigboor seems to be quite easy going and friendly. I dont know what to think still. It seems like he may have had a reaction under stress and both said an abusive statement and acting abusive during that stress. I dont think he would be violent without something triggering him. But what do I know.

I was just thinking that threatening to kill someone is an abusive statement. - it most certainly is!

I dont think he would be violent without something triggering him. - we all have our triggers, even someone like me with the most majestic calm; it is what we do about them that matters.

I dont know how to quote several answers here so I wrote it all in once.

Yes it sure is abusive. I think I dont know exactly what to think of it all. But who knows if my neigboor has not told me the whole story. I dont see why this paedophile would be roaring outside my neigboors window in the first place. The paedophile is seen walking up against all sort of people so its hard to say.

That is true, its what we do that matters. Even when triggered, one can control oneself and not react with violence or threats. My neigboor could have done that. I would come to the conclusion that my neigboor has a poor control issue, like you said. That he cant control his triggers and anger. Whether he really is abusive or if its mental issues. I know I snapped once, maybe 10 years ago, but it was not serious and lasted for 2 seconds, but I felt really bad and sad about it. I am not abuisve as I am survivor of abuse. I do struggle with depression and maybe my snap was repressed anger. I snapped because a family member defended my boyfriend who molested his daughter an told me I couldnt just go and report him to the police. Which I had done. And my family member defended him instead of me in front of another man I talked to.

I have grown a lot since then and would never snap like that again. This neigboor is at my age and he snaps seemingly at several incidents and he feels justified ( he told me ). He does not feel bad or sad about it. I think that may be a different thing when feeling justified and not sad and regret.