[lacerta]

I need to write this down and to get support, just to help me ascertain that it was real, that I didn't make it up, that I need to help myself
I was in therapy for about a year, and it was discontinued because my phychoterapist told that we are done. Now I recently witnessed situation when my mom repeated some of the emotional abuse on my child. As a result of previous therapy, I had strength to tell no, stop, it's not acceptable and go away. However my emotions were so strong, recalling all emotional and physical abuse from the childhood, that I was broken. I saw my T again, no she tells me that now I'm ready to go to next level of therapy to talk about these dramas in the past. I want to deny that all so much, I want to escape. My mom would always say that nothing like that happened and it's so sweet and luring to believe her. though I know it's not. Has anyone had progress with CBT and these issues? Can it ever be truly healed?

[CANDC]

Hi Lacerta,
I am glad you are ready to face the memories. I have not done CBT but some at Psych Central share their experiences here.
Psych Central - Search results for Experiences with CBT

In my experience, the abusers are not aware they are abusing because they have not faced the fact that they were abused. As long as someone is in denial about making peace with the past, it is too easy for someone who was abused to have a knee jerk reaction and abuse another. It was the way they were brought up.

[WibblyWobbly]

I'm about to start a PTSD program and was warned that I would have to talk about the abuse in detail in order to process it and move past it.

[lacerta]

Originally Posted by WibblyWobbly

I'm about to start a PTSD program and was warned that I would have to talk about the abuse in detail in order to process it and move past it.

Thanks for this hint. No, I wasn't warned about that directly, I was given indirect hints that I have to put bandages on wounds or similar. I think it will take a lot of energy from me.

Is there someone who has gone through therapy and can share what improvements were there?

[lacerta]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi Lacerta,
I am glad you are ready to face the memories. I have not done CBT but some at Psych Central share their experiences here.
Psych Central - Search results for Experiences with CBT

In my experience, the abusers are not aware they are abusing because they have not faced the fact that they were abused. As long as someone is in denial about making peace with the past, it is too easy for someone who was abused to have a knee jerk reaction and abuse another. It was the way they were brought up.

Have you had experience trying to explain abusers, why abuse is abuse and what's wrong with that? I cannot remain silent, but I don't feel I'm strong enough yet to talk about that piecefully with them.

[nicoleflynn]

Originally Posted by lacerta

Have you had experience trying to explain abusers, why abuse is abuse and what's wrong with that? I cannot remain silent, but I don't feel I'm strong enough yet to talk about that piecefully with them.

Yes, after 30 years of verbal (some physical) abuse. Most abusers will just argue that they are NOT abusive (denial is major).

I gave the abuser the book which saved my life : The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans; he still refused to see reality; I found the courage to divorce him.

P.S. NEVER get into counseling with abuser (they need to go by themselves to work on their anger)). Go for yourself.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by lacerta

mom would always say that nothing like that happened

That is called "gaslighting". You can research that term for further validation, if you need.

[sju9698]

I went through therapy for childhood sexual abuse (ages 6-12) and rape at 16. It was a long hard road, but oh so worth it. Find a therapist that will allow you to go at your pace but also push a little when needed. You only need to disclose what you want when you want. Early on my therapist asked me to write a narrative so that she knew what we were dealing with. From then on we tackled one thing at a time as they came up. My therapist used Rapid Reduction Technique (RRT). It allowed me to stop the flashbacks without having to relive. You revisit in the safety of the therapist, never relive it. Therapy was the best gift I ever gave myself. I took my power back from my abusers. I wish you well!