[newbie65]

Help! I have been a victim of physical, sexual, emotional and verbal abuse almost all my life. I went from a home with all theses abuses into a 27 year marriage with all but the physical abuse. i did not even know i was being abused in my marriage until i talked to my sister and a new psychologist after a failed suicide attempt in June. I am starting therapy now at a women's shelter but am very scared. I have put these demons on the back burner for so long and tried to be as normal a person as I could be. I was not doing too bad but then i was sexually assaulted again last year. I m very afraid to bring these memories up as they are extremely painful and i may even remember things that i have forgotten, any advice would be great

[LifeGetsBetter]

Your statement that you did not even know you were being abused in your marriage really struck home for me. I was emotionally controlled and abused most of my life from childhood through two marriages and one long term relationship. It was all I knew.

I live alone now and am independent, but The intrusive memories from my past still haunt me. I still have dreams and nightmares about the people who hurt me. There are so many triggers just getting through the day that bring up the bad memories.

I know I need a therapist, but don't know if I have the energy to go through the work of dealing with this with someone who may or may not be able to help.

[PrairieCat]

Hey, isn't it worth a try? I saw a new therapist and I didn't like her or feel comfy with her or trust her. So, I tried another and she is the best! Good luck.

[newbie65]

Originally Posted by LifeGetsBetter

Your statement that you did not even know you were being abused in your marriage really struck home for me. I was emotionally controlled and abused most of my life from childhood through two marriages and one long term relationship. It was all I knew.

I live alone now and am independent, but The intrusive memories from my past still haunt me. I still have dreams and nightmares about the people who hurt me. There are so many triggers just getting through the day that bring up the bad memories.

I know I need a therapist, but don't know if I have the energy to go through the work of dealing with this with someone who may or may not be able to help.

I am sorry you are dealing with similar issues as myself. I am looking for the kind of support you are so please feel free to chat or send me a message, maybe we ca help each other?

[Cat_Lover_58]

I think you're off to a wonderful start. My journey back involved a mentally abusive mother and I didn't know for years that this was abuse. I thought there was only physical abuse. You are in a safe place with the shelter. Your therapist sounds good.

Keep posting. I've been where you are at without some of the issues. You are worth it. Good luck to you.

Cat