Angry that no one loved me

Hey,

I just need to share this.. I'm SO angry that my parents didn't love me. I know I can't change that now and that's not what I'm trying to do. I just need to be able to share these feelings.

Just need someone to hear me out, again..

I am so sorry. Perhaps you can take that anger and do something positive with it (I did that).....help at a shelter, go to a nursing home, find people who need help and love.xoxo. Write a letter of "restorative justice" to your parents. That says....this is what you did, this is how it made me feel.....the letter is for YOU.

Thank you, nicoleflynn!

I would absolutely LOVE to do some volunteering, but I suffer from really bad social phobia that keeps me inside four walls most of the time.. But I'm dealing with it and although it's a long and slow process, I have my eye on the day when I can start doing some good in this world..

The letter idea sounds great! I've actually written some letters like that in the past, but I've never gone very deeply into my issues and emotions in them.. I'll try again by going into more detail. I think I'll also try doing some physical activity like fitness boxing at home to release some of my pent-up anger energy..

I'm so sorry. I haven't really been able to share my feelings, either. The letter thing backfired big time on my progress, though. What helped was being able to talk about it with people who didn't invalidate my experiences and accepted the truth of the situation for what it was. Can you talk about this with someone who won't judge you or try to "correct" you?

What I did....I became the parent I wanted to have,abusive mother and no father, poverty, etc., etc.........we can overcome anything. Do you have a pet? They can be wonderful. xoxo

Sounds like you have some good ideas; let us know what works.

There was an expression I once heard.

When you hurt, abuse, injure, unloved a child, you ruin the adult permanently.

We can never completely heal. The scars are the results of injury.
Sexual, Emotional, and Physical. The children who have never felt loved or were belittled.
Beaten and Blamed. I could go on, ect...
Our world is different and that you/me can be okay.
Not only is our perspective of people and our environment but how we respond/react in this world different.{ its like we have an unique club/association.}

This is one of many good things we can learn, we can adjust our feelings, our perspective.

The healing process is going to be part of our whole life.
Therapy is very good if you can find a good therapist one who will work with you.
Sometimes we are chemically unbalanced. Medication along with Cognitive psychology is the study of our mental processes such as "attention, language use, memory, perception, problem solving, creativity, and thinking. I also use meditation/prayers because we are body & mind & spirit.

We can have a healthy balanced life filled with Love, Trust, and Good Relationships!
Please remember You and I are never alone. and You are worthy of being Loved.
You always were, there is an abundance just under the surface.
Love,
Happiedasiy

I think it would be nice to have a group for us. I"ll call it " For those unloved children " http://forums.psychcentral.com/image....gif:grouphug:

All who posted here & to everyone!

At 44 I just don't know, after 27 years out on my own raising my 5 kids with love kisses and balance of fun time and serious time, I've found myself back living with my mother....it's like I'm 5 yrs old again...terrified, begging her not to leaves home alone with my dad again...many years ago my father finally admitted to the sexual abuse and got help it was weird to feel good about finally being told, yes I abused you....I made piece with my dad b4 he died....but I can't with my mom!!!! Still now she talks and treats me like the "other woman"...it's been constant painful remarks, even to say I'm not worth air I breathe!!!!! What mother says that!!! This was 2 days ago!!!! I've always been the joker no one will ever see my pain....this time I lost it!!!! I'm a mess....really hoped you could relate and little insight on healing would be great too!!!!

bbbnt5, I'm so sorry you had to go through such horrible experiences. I feel shocked and sad for you

Your mother must be seriously ill in the head to say such things to you. No normal mother would act like that towards her child who has had to go through sexual abuse!

I'm glad your father at least admitted what he'd done. My parents have never acknowledged what they've done wrong, and it leaves things hanging in the air. It's like I'm walking on eggshells around them. When I've tried to point out their mistakes, my dad doesn't understand and my mum has a fit, so I've stopped trying.

I'm so glad you've decided to open up about what you had to endure. I think it's the first step towards healing, and you SO deserve to heal!

The pain will probably never go away completely, but as you share your feelings and experiences, it lessens. When I started on my own path, I was like a barrel so full of pressure I feared I would just burst one day. Little by little, that pressure transforms into peace.

Central to my healing was finding the right therapist for me. Her expertise has been invaluable. When I began therapy, I also had to go no contact with my parents so they wouldn't interfere with the process.

As I progressed in therapy, it was imperative that I found people I could talk to about my experiences, a place where I could share as much and as often as I needed to. For me, that place has been here at Psych Central. There really is something so healing about being able to talk about your experiences with others who have been through something similar and truly understand. Like you, I kept much of my emotions to myself growing up, so finally being able to share them and have them validated has been a huge thing for me.

It sounds like you've been a wonderful parent to your five children. Now it's time to be equally good to yourself. I would suggest you learn about boundaries and how to enforce them with your mother who sounds very toxic. Try to distance yourself from her if only emotionally for now. Maybe you could also find a support group in your area for people who have suffered sexual abuse.

I wish you all the very best in the world