Stepdad Attracted to Me? What to Do?

WibblyWobbly · Dec 09, 2015, 08:16 AM

I think you should tell your mom immediately. She is your mother and it is her job to protect you, no matter what she has going on in other areas of her life. Someone with that kind of temper and the blatant leering could easily escalate to rape. I don't think the answer is leaving the house, unless you want to leave and then pull your mom aside and say, "This is why."

This dirtbag has raised you since you were 5 years old. Your mom deserves to know what kind of creep she is married to and you have a right to be safe in your mom's home.

marmaduke · Dec 11, 2015, 01:46 PM

Unfortunately mothers are not always as they should be and do not protect.
Mine didn't.

Luce · Dec 12, 2015, 05:44 AM

Dang it - no! You don't have to do act or dress differently or anything like that. He needs to pull his bleeping head in!

Here's the thing: He knows he's being a douchebag. That's why he can only say those things under his breath. He's half-saying it to 'test the waters' so to speak - if you say anything he can deny it, say you misheard him. It's like a cover for him. His "but I'm innocent!" clause.

But every time he says something and you ignore it that gives him 'permission' to do what he is doing. (Please note that I know you are most certainly not 'giving him permission' to do anything of the sort - but he will likely interpret the lack of response as such.) The very real danger here is that if he comes to think you are 'okay' with what he is doing now he will push the boundaries even further as time goes on.

Next time you hear him say something do this: turn around, look him in the eye and very calmly but firmly say "That is NOT appropriate. I want you to stop it."
And then walk away before he can respond. If he says anything at all, ignore it completely and keep walking away.

I have a feeling he won't get violent about it because a) he knows he's a douchebag and b) he won't want your mother to know about it.

... but he will know that you won't put up with that kind of sh*^.

Patagonia · Dec 12, 2015, 07:35 AM

Nunya54. How t you doing through all this?
((Hugs)))

That What · Dec 12, 2015, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunya54

I've known my stepdad since I was 5 or so, and he lived with my mom and me since I was 10 or so. I'm 22 now and in college, living with my mom still.

I noticed a few months ago that my stepdad would stare at my cleavage and mumble gross things under his breath when he thought no one heard. I've heard things how about he likes my body and breasts, usually derogatory things like "nice ***." I can't always make out the words, because he usually waits until he thinks I'm not listening. I have two more strange examples I can remember clearly.

Once, after bumping into him to get a midnight snack, I heard him talking to himself about how he liked my breasts. His exact words were: "They look so soft. I just want to put my hands on them." There was no one else in the house when he did that, so I knew it was about me. Plus, I admit I was wearing a thin nightie.

One time I asked him to fix my TV, and when he walked away, I heard him mumble, "Damn, she's gorgeous."

Now that I'm becoming paranoid, I notice him staring more and more when my back is turned. The worst is when I walk up the stairs, and he just... watches me walk up, then talks to himself again. WTF is that about? Is this creepy or just a guy's nature?

I should point out: He's NEVER touched me. Ever. I doubt he knows that I overhear him, because he always waits until he thinks I've gone upstairs to mumble about me or until I go into another room.

I don't want to tell him I'm aware of this because has an explosive temper. And I don't want to tell my mom because she's incredibly stressed out already and is about to be laid off. I couldn't bear telling her this. Worse, what if she doesn't believe me?

And it's not just what he says. It's HOW he says it. There's this weird, breathy, sexual tone to his words. It's disturbing and I can't stand this feeling of not being comfortable in my own home.

Am I overreacting to this, or am I right to be completely and utterly creeped out?

Please help.

Step-Dad is a child taught fairy tale not reality. The strange man's legal ties were criminal law and possible prison. Legal marriage between two adults does not create a legal relationship with someone else's child.

Now three adults sharing one home space. Comments behind backs...stalker. Cowards want confrontation. Any negative verbal response to negative verbal comments is taken as a good fight reason.

Clothing...cleavage invokes touching thoughts...lick skin or hands grabbing. Covering on arms so no bra showing and neck through mid-thighs...knees thoughts remove clothing so touch focus on fabric not skin. A physical sight barrier. Have to figure out how to step near enough to touch clothing and remove clothing.

Buy door jam alarms for any enclosed rooms...bedroom, bathroom. Door opens breaks connection loud piercing noise stops bad thoughts...focus changes to sound without words.

Buy personal alarm looking like a car alarm..keep hidden. Set off quick alarm sound any time hearing comments. "What was that noise?" "What noise?" "Didn't you hear it?" "Hear what?"

Thought process she's strange not hearing that noise replace voices in head saying "oh...she's showing cleavage (excuses/justifications) cause she wants me to look and touch."

Those tools literally place protection in your fingers....not his hands.

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Stepdad Attracted to Me? What to Do?

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