[sujunew]

I had believed 100% that just by learning the truth I would feel so much better; that it didn't matter what the truth was as long as I knew. In my that t session I came to realise that it isn't true, unfortunately. After that session I was so unsure and confused, and the not knowing was making me so anxious. I went home and had a session with a reputable online psychic. I only gave him the briefest of details and left out as much as I could. What he came back with, though, has more-or-less convinced me that something did happen to me when I was 6. What he wrote was just about the same as what I wrote in my diary 3 months ago. He had no knowledge of this whatsoever, and his answer could have been anything. So now I feel worse than ever! I truly thought that if I found out that 'it' was true then I could get on with my life; I could begin to work on it and heal and finally put it all in the past. But because I still do not have a definite memory of it I have doubts lurking there. There is too much evidence saying that it did happen; I just don't want to say anything definite if there is the slightest doubt that it might not be true or that it isn't true. I am just so confused still; and on a downward spiral...

[damajdancer]

(((((( irishsj ))))))))
unfourtunately you cant put something like that behind you and out of your head completely. i have tried it, but it only makes you more miserable when you think about again. knowing the truth can be horrible and confusing. but just know that there was nothing you could have done. and try to accept that you were a victom. and you are not alone. i hope that the truth will settle the constant unbearing feelings that have been with you since it all happened.
please feel better, it just takes time, even though that time will feel like forever, just stay strong.

So sorry you are still confused. I' don't know what to tell you, but I do have some compassion for where you are at. My thoughts are with you.

ev

[sujunew]

damajdancer, ev.
thanks for the replies. I am just soooo frustrated at not knowing either way for sure altho I occasionally have a split-second image of a small detail- I don't know if it is my imagination or if it is the truth. My T has asked me if perhaps I am protecting that little 6yo girl. Maybe. I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!!
Again, thanks,
irish.