[yesterdaysangel]

People have been telling me for a while now that it's evident from what I tell them that my parents have been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me, but I have been in denial. And then two days ago, I finally was hit with the full force of what that meant; that I couldn't pretend that I wanted to be like my mother when I was grown up, that I had a lot of problems now in relationships because I never had a truly healthy one at home. I realized the other day how often I was ignored and neglected as a child when I explained how I would spend days at a time doing whatever I could to get my mom to talk to me with no success, or that I was told at the age of 3 that I had outgrown tickle fights so now to this day I don't really know how to tickle. It seems kind of stupid, but recognizing the problems which built up so much of my life? It's causing a big change. Has anyone else experienced this kind of denial and then painful rush of clarity?

[Open Eyes]

A lot of people who get to a point where they stop and sort through their personal challenges and review their childhoods get those moments of clarity. Children simply don't stop and think the way adults do, they are too busy discovering and learning and developing their own sense of identity.

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

Hello
I read somewhere that "... the day a helpless baby is born is the day two parents suddenly realize how intensely unprepared and vulnerable they also really are..."
There are no perfect people and parenting brings out the best and worst of each person. I do not know what emotional/physical abuse you survived, but your acknowledgement (end of denial) and clarity (realizations/expectations/disappointments) are quite inspirational. I had a hard time admitting the "problem" and still hate that I have to talk about "it" (not a parent, other abuser for my sudden mental/emotional epihany(s). It is good you are deciding your boundaries of treatment from others including your own parents and deciding what is okay /what is *not okay*. That is strong, healthy and positive.