Types of abuse

How do you know what to call what happened to you? How do you know what to call it? Is it you were raped, sexually abused, molested or something else? I feel the time has come to tell my therapist about my painful past, but I don't know what to call it.

Also, I once told my old therapist that I was touched, and she said touching wasn't that big of deal. Excuse me but to me it was. What are your thoughts on someone touching you against your will?

Well I know what to call what happened to me... felony assault... as for people touching you against your will... they should keep their g. d. hands to themselves!

I don't know any specific definitions but I understand the differences as:

Rape = forced sexual intercourse or sexual penetration (eg, with an object)

Sexual abuse = a repeating pattern of unwanted sexual experiences, including any combination of forced sex acts, rape, and molestation.

Molestation = unwanted touching or other non-intercourse sexual advances

So if your main issue was touching, then the problem would mainly be molestation; if it happened regularly you were sexually abused.

My personal feelings about your interaction with the therapist: when did this (the unwanted touching) happen, and how often? If you were a child, even one instance is not okay. Some people are particularly sensitive and it's absolutely within the realm of possibility that one bad run-in was especially traumatizing for you. Now, if it was a pattern, a regular thing that just never got any "worse", that's still absolutely sexual abuse, yes that's a big deal, and your T is/was an asshole.

I've never had any luck working out my issues.

The last Pdoc I Tryed to share with just said, well that will not happen here. And blew it off. Done. End of discussion.

I believe we need a specialist. Someone who understands our pain and humiliation.

is it still sexual abuse when you've detached and can't react one way or another..?

I think this is a loaded question ... And I think depends on too many factors for me to be able to straight up say how I feel about the question ... I think perpetrators have a degree of knowing they are doing something wrong.

As to whether a perpetrator can pick up the level of detachment - I don't know? I'd rather not answer the question.

i meant for the victim... not the perpetrator...

when things happen small and slow and next thing you know, after some months, you are screaming in your head what the hell is going on???! and not able to do anything to get out or away from the situation... like losing control over everything...
like they just lure you into a deep hole and then make awful things happen...
this went on for years ...

when i see it in my head and remembering how it made me feel...
i hate myself...
i just dunno... maybe it was my fault some how...

I don't believe this is ever okay for someone to experience

It is never ok to touch someone in this manner. I was never physically/sexually abused but someone close to me was. We put the perpetrator in prison.the therapist you mention was full of crap. It is absolutely a reportable offense and a big deal to law enforcement. In fact that therapist should know all of this. There are therapists that specialize in sexual abuse victims/survivors-you may want to search for this type of person. I don't know if I can recommend another site here -but they have anonymous phone or online availability. RAINN. Stands for rape,abuse,incest national network. Or even calling any sexual abuse hotline-can often give you list of therapists in areas and talk to you about it,too.
Hang in there