Beginning Work

Just a couple of days ago, I was finally able to start talking about having been abused with therapist. It's been 10 years since the incident I revealed to her, but I've never talked about it before. Ever since that session I can't stop thinking about what happened, and how it has affected so much of my life. I have so many regrets about the way I lived my life between then and now, and I'm beginning to see how it all stems from that one incident.

Now that it's out in the open, I kind of expected some negative reactions, but nothing like what I am feeling. I've had no dreams or flashbacks or anything I expected, not yet anyway. But I feel so physically sick over it. I can't stop crying, and I can't identify what I'm feeling. I've learned some in the past about trauma and the physical ways it is experienced and treated, but I don't know enough to evaluate what's going on right now. Have others experienced such an extreme physical reaction to starting trauma work? How did you react when you first started talking about past abuse?

Anxiety to full blown panic attacks...Your not alone it will get better, if not slow down talk about other things

Thanks. I think part of my problem right now is that I haven't talked about it. I brought it up maybe 5 min before the end of my session, so there was no time to process anything.

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I want to talk, but my T keeps distracting me every time I try. I brought up the problem and asked if he is trying to protect himself or me. I'll find out soon when we talk.

I remember when I first began opening it up. It is rough at first. My T used to tell me that it was like opening up an infection under the skin--it's really gross and awful at first, but then it turns to just oozing and is less painful. It was an apt comparison. It will be hard for a time, but the pain really will start to ease.

That sounds like a perfect description, thank you.

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