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#1
Aug 14, 2007, 10:27 PM
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My 78-year-old mom is having surgery on the 22nd to replace a heart valve. I am a swirling mess of conflicting emotions and I don't know where to start.
 I thought I had forgiven her, but maybe I haven't. I thought I would be relieved when she dies, but maybe I won't. I thought I was grown-up enough to cope with anything about her that comes my way, but my inner 3-year-old is out in force (I'm not DID, but I do have a strong concept of "little me"). I miss my dad. I miss feeling like a capable, competent, reasonably mentally healthy (albeit heavily medicated, LOL) adult. I *hate* feelings. If there were a way to avoid having them, I would give it a shot. They're too complicated and too painful and I never know where to go with them, especially when it comes to big, bad pieces of my past. Can anybody help?  Candy |
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#2
Aug 15, 2007, 09:59 AM
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((((((((((((candybear))))))))))
I dont think i can help but wanted to offer you some support. I know you are doing your very best... If you need to chat, just pm me. |
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#3
Aug 15, 2007, 10:09 AM
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((((((((((((((((Candy)))))))))))))) I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I wish I had some sage advice. I'm in a similar situation and it's hard. I am here if you ever need to talk.
__________________
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#4
Aug 15, 2007, 04:40 PM
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(((((((((((candybear)))))))))))))))
I'm in a similar situation regarding whether i have forgiven my mum or not. sometimes i love her, sometimes i hate her, sometimes i feel sorry for her. she makes me anxious. sorry your mom is ill. I wish i could help, it's so hard, at the end of the day she is your mom - my mum is my mum - there is a bond of some sort because they are our parents. pm if you need to talk, I can't make much sense of my emotions towards my mum. She had a lot to do with the abuse in my past. love jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
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#5
Aug 15, 2007, 06:06 PM
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you've recognized that you have conflicted feelings,thats a start to dealing with them is'nt it? if something did happen,I doubt that you'd be conflicted,so don't worry about it...maybe you could get some help to look at some of your "past" issues,and process them in a healthy way over time...good luck to you!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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