[Juliaspavlov]

hope im not boring or too paranoid but it triggers me and i shake and go stiff when adult males stay in a chat with teenagers etc. I fear the whole time and i even have to log out of PC.Take care everyone. This is my way or working on it. Just to mention it. I've always handled my problems with talking it over even if it's with myself. Told too many people in life.....a shaking luv Jjulia.

Trigger x 10

[gostryter]

hi Julia ~ nope, not boring...or paranoid.

there are a lot of creepy people online and we can never be too careful...having said that, i guess it's important to remember that there are a lot of nice people online too.

but if you're online and it bothers you it's probably best to log out.

personally - chat rooms in general weird me out!!! i like posting on forums. that chat rooms....all the people....chatting/posting....i can't keep up!!!! LOL but i guess that's for another thread!!!

take care!

[sabby]

Hi Juliaspavlov,

You are not in any way boring or too paranoid. Chat can be a difficult place to be at times. I'm glad you take the initiative to do self-care when in the chatroom environment. That is the absolute right thing to do!

Remember too if there are any specific issues in chat, you can pm the mods/admins or copy the chat and send it to one of us with your conerns.

I'm sorry you have been feeling triggered, but like I said, you are doing the right thing in taking care of yourself first!

*Gentle Hugs*
J

Since those chat rooms were setup for our teens, I would report any odd behavior to our mods. I can't imagine why adult males would want to hang out in a place set aside just for teens. As I would not post on the male forum, I would also not go into the teen chat. I don't feel invited! (and I'm ok with that!)

Trust your gut insticts.

em

[Juliaspavlov]

thanks gostryter thanks Sabau thanks emily. I noticed a member who was having marriage problems go in teen chat when there were teen age female members there. I know teenagers can handle themselves. it just makes me shake and get freezing and paralysed. Your replies are apreciated. 1 for each of you.

yeah. lots of people have issues when grandfathers try and pick up their granddaughters from school too.

or when fathers attempt to change their daughters diapers.

i do understand that sometimes stuff is triggering...

but i understand that sometimes people (of any age) just want to talk.

and given that everyone is all anonymous etc etc well... you really have no idea whether i'm male or female whether i'm an 18 year old girl or a 65 year old man.

i mean... posters assume that people are representing themselves as they really are (to the point that we are or aren't allowed to post on the mens or womens forum on the basis of peoples assumptions) but really... we have no idea...

[Juliaspavlov]

I had chatted with the person in question and they had given me info to make me worry about their going in teen chat. Please PM me if you would like more info. I don't get paranoid about every male in every interaction with others. I also know how to be cautious on the internet. so for now no comment.

[sparta21]

I hear you on this Julia. As an adult male, I find it VERY unsettling that older guys are in a teen chat room. I'm 43, and can not really imagine what I'd chat about with teenagers. The thought creeps me out. No harm my be implied, but why go there? Trust your instincts on this. If something seems fishy, I find it best to error on the side of caution.

Oh dear -- Juliaspavlov, I am so much like this too when triggered : </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
makes me shake and get freezing and paralysed

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I also get a sick stomach .....

please be kind to yourself and take it easy.....
I wish I could help you in relieving those feelings-- but I haven't figured it out myself-

here's some twirly hearts to know you are cared about and heard--

mandy
ps-- so far, the only thing that kind of helps me- sometimes, is distraction, distraction and more distraction...

[Juliaspavlov]

thanks sparta thanks Mandyfins. Am sitting in front of a fire to get warm. I'm back to work too and that's keeping my mind occupied away from the other thing. But if I see it again then blah I think I'll take a big Polar Bear to get them!! (wish I knew how to put a big pict of a polar Bear here)...kind regards Jjulia.

[AmatureBombTech]

Julia,

You have every right to be alerted. Anyone who has ever visited a chat room should be aware that grown men don't have alot in common with teenagers so there isn't much need for an adult to be a teen room unless something is going on that shouldn't be.

If there were more people that were as keen and alerted as you are Julia, there might not be as many kids being exploited on the internet as there currently are. Sometimes our past experiences, no matter how terrible they may have been, can be used as present and future lessons for others. I think this is what you are doing for other users of PC now. You are doing the right thing by making people aware of this situation, but I am sorry it affects you so badly.

ABT

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks AmatureBombtech, for showing fellow feeling.

[(JD)]

Adults are not to be in teen chat. I know sometimes I have been invited, but I haven't stayed for long. I think DocJohn has since said adults should not be in the teen chat room, so if it happens again, kindly tell them in Chat PM and if they don't leave, copy the chat and send it to admin. I think that's the best thing.

You might also PM the others in chat and let them know the same thing you are feeling.

I hope this helps you feel safer, and ok with how you're feeling (((hugs)))