I went to see my family recently. I was so detached.. so mean to my dad. He was actually trying to reach out, trying to get my approval. I withheld it. He even gave me a large gift and offered to give me money. I was just apathetic and polite, but not engaged. I think it was a major feet for him to reach out.. but i couldnt meet him half way.

Am i as bad as he?I'm wondering if if I should write him a letter about the abuse so I can get passed it.

[gostryter]

((((((((((((((((esthersvirtue))))))))))))))))))))))

i'd give yourself a little time between the visit and any letter.... you don't want to write a letter like that during a time when you are feeling guilty....you may be more apologetic than you really should be....

i'd say give a few weeks...then revisit the idea of writing a letter....

hope that makes sense?

luv, gost

yeah.. i probably should wait. I'm just very ... pensive about the whole thing. I have this huge tv he gave me in my house reminding me how ungrateful i am.

[dalila]

<font color="green">Just cos you write the letter doesn't mean you have to send it. Perhaps just write it out and take it with you to therapy. Just having the words in black and white [or whatever colors you like to print in} seems to help.

If your dad abused you and is now giving you stuff, I would tend to feel that he is trying to appease you - buy you off. That is not respectful or generous,it is manipultive.

{{{{{esther}}}}}}</font>