[leomama]

I got this postcard from my mother in the mail today. Its probably the most vicious thing she's said to me yet.

"Dear daughter, I could not look myself in the mirror if I talked about my parents like you have done to us. You are a really snarky person. Your father read what you told the lawyers about us. It is all a fabricated story and you have deeply hurt my feelings. It will come back to bite you one day. Mom"

What the ?!?! She's the one who pushed my flying monkey dad along with my golden child brother to seek out an attorney for my brother and I to try to get our inheritance back. She's mocked me for not wanting to file the lawsuit and now she's putting me down for what I said under oath.

One of my former t said my father was narcissistic. I don't know what to call my mother other then psychopathic.

[Aussie sheepdaze]

Wow! what a terrible thing to say and a terrible situation. I have some understanding of your mother's personality as I have one that can be just as god awful. The hurt from an encounter with her sends me into a terrible downward spiral. Sending the warmest of wishes from Australia.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Aussie sheepdaze

Wow! what a terrible thing to say and a terrible situation. I have some understanding of your mother's personality as I have one that can be just as god awful. The hurt from an encounter with her sends me into a terrible downward spiral. Sending the warmest of wishes from Australia.

thank you, I think I need to put a trigger warning. I think that's the meanest thing she's said to me yet. When I called her she said she was outside and hung up and then ignored my texts.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Holy ****. Your mother is just cruel. I'm sorry, sincerely.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Holy ****. Your mother is just cruel. I'm sorry, sincerely.

Yes, she's a bpd witch and a sadistic narcissist or sociopath. I'm still reeling from the blow. I could post some emails from my dad where he totally denies she has any problem at all, but I don't know if community guidelines allow it. You're not the first to say she's cruel.

[snarkydaddy]

Hi Leo, that postcard is just awful. And not the sort of "motherly explosives" you want to get in the mail...geez. Chin up dear, what she wrote is not true, you have a lot of ppl in your life that care about you. Onward and upward!!

[RoseOfSharon]

Having been at the receiving end of similar in the past, I can truly empathise.
For me, narcissistic is indeed not quite strong enough for such people. Only psychopath is - complete lack of feeling for others, the ability to be cruel.
Wish I had some helpful words for you...but all I can really offer is the knowledge that - sadly - you are far from alone.

[TishaBuv]

Nobody can push our buttons like our mothers! I've heard some incredibly pathological, mean, abusive things too. It runs deep.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Nobody can push our buttons like our mothers! I've heard some incredibly pathological, mean, abusive things too. It runs deep.

I think this goes beyond "button pushing" , I think it's pathological. I did talk to my dad about it.

[leomama]

[TishaBuv]

You know the truth, no matter what she says.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

You know the truth, no matter what she says.

Do I? I had to have a long conversation with my dad. She brainwashed me.

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by leomama

Do I? I had to have a long conversation with my dad. She brainwashed me.

I think your situation is rather severe as it goes beyond normal permitters of what one might think. Personally I think what you have been dealing with was mind control or brain washing as it did include the use of food amount other things...etc...

It must be very hard to have someone presented in the role of mother, look like one, and even talk like one in public and yet be something else. I am very sry and saddened by your experiences. Sry Leo.

You are doing a good job recovering!

[RoseOfSharon]

Such people are the absolute master/mistresses of that. At 50, I still constantly doubt myself, because of how my own mother is and always has been (gaslighting is a new term to me, but sums up so very well what she does).
Recently she tripped up in a letter to me. After being incensed at what she wrote, I was actually delighted by it - because she showed her true colours!
Truth is indeed so very hard to work out with narcissists and psychopaths...

Sometimes, and as difficult as it is, the best thing we can do is to sever all contact with our toxic family of origin so that we can prevent them from doing any more damage to our minds, bodies and souls!

[MtnTime2896]

What a piece of work. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by BrokenCloud

Sometimes, and as difficult as it is, the best thing we can do is to sever all contact with our toxic family of origin so that we can prevent them from doing any more damage to our minds, bodies and souls!

That's not an option for several reasons, including a family lawsuit, a grandchild, close proximity, and just not how I do things.

The ironic thing is when I complained to my dad he says he told her to pick up the phone and call me.

I told him she had no right to have an opinion as she's the one who pushed him to push me into this lawsuit and all I said was she was even more difficult to get along with then my father.

I told my father she would never do what she is forcing me to do .

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by leomama

When you read these individual descriptions of how what is considered a "narcissist" failing to give you the love and validation YOU need, what these different ways these individuals treat others means is "they are unable to give something they do not know HOW to give". These individuals were never "taught" how to give you what you deserve. If you allow yourself to decide that it's "intentional" behavior then you are only going to be hurt even more, and I know how very hard that can be. Your disbelief is because you have made it a point to "learn" and in that when the behavior is exhibited towards you, you will say "I can't believe how bad this behavior is".

[leomama]

Hi, I didn't write those quotes, so thank you for bringing them to my attention . I don't hold the beliefs you stated above.

Im so sorry that was awful of her.

That postcard reads like something my very own NPD Mother would write, no concern towards you or suggestion of discussing what has happened like rational adults ... just a defensive attack on you using shame and denial. What a cruel and toxic thing to write. Shame on her

[leomama]

Originally Posted by -Bix

That postcard reads like something my very own NPD Mother would write, no concern towards you or suggestion of discussing what has happened like rational adults ... just a defensive attack on you using shame and denial. What a cruel and toxic thing to write. Shame on her

Thanks -Bix, I'm still reeling from it. I feel very powerless in the situation I am in, forced into a lawsuit by her through my dad, and then punished for telling the truth under oath. You are the third person to say she is cruel, its very validating to me to hear that because according to her I am the abusive bully.

I have a few other cards from her this summer that I may post, and I'm bringing them to my therapist on Saturday too. I've had enough. She's really messed with my sense of reality.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by leomama

Do I? I had to have a long conversation with my dad. She brainwashed me.

I'm sorry you are going through all this. I hope whatever you said in your testimony won't become a bigger issue. It sounds like she just didn't like that you said she was something, and she's denying it.

My mother wouldn't have even written a letter. She just 'disowns'. I've been disowned several times in my life by her. She really means it. She just will never speak to me again and that's that.

As long as I did basically what my mother expected of me/wanted for me (because that was a reflection of her wants), we were great. She was very loving and giving.

But, when I defied her- disowned!

Now, at her old age, she is over the top with her anxieties and making everyone walk on egg shells. If she blows up now, we don't fear her anymore. She needs help from us too much, and knows she can't afford to disown anymore.

[leomama]

Hi Tisha,
my testimony isn't actually about her, however it is going to mention her, so I'm going to write a disclaimer at the top. I want to walk away from this whole situation, but I can't.